Posts Tagged ‘Covid Theme + Already run’
Netflix Moves Virus Disaster Film ‘Outbreak’ To Its Documentary Section
If you’re feeling like the last few years have been like something out of a dystopian sci-fi drama, you’re not alone. Streaming platform Netflix has announced that the 1995 medical disaster thriller film ‘Outbreak’ has been added to its non-fiction / documentary section. “We believe this new classification makes sense,” says Netflix Boss Jean Harper. “Given the events of 2020 and 2021, we now see Outbreak as an accurate portrayal of modern life.” The film, starring Dustin Hoffman and Morgan Freeman, focuses on the outbreak of a killer virus in the U.S.A. The police and military are deployed to help…
Read MoreBondi Influencer Finally Agrees To Stay At Home, After Her Botox Wears Off Completely
A Sydney influencer says the latest lockdown is now beginning to take a big toll on her lifestyle, as her latest round of cosmetic injections finally wears off completely. “My face is looking pretty dire,” says Bondi’s Elle Bracken. “I had fillers about 5 weeks ago, but with all the cosmetic clinics closed, I’m now a full week overdue for a top up.” The 35 year old says she’s been socialising and dating as normal during lockdown so far, but now she’s finally agreed to the state government strict stay at home orders. “Don’t worry, there’s no way I’m going…
Read More#BREAKING: Man In Singles Bubble For Ten Days, Still Not Getting Any Action
HIGH AND DRY: Tensions are high between a Sydney man and his female singles bubble buddy. For the last 10 days, Mark Wilbur and Jessica French have been in an exclusive singles bubble as per public health rules, however there still hasn’t been any intimacy. “What’s the point of all this?,” Mark Wilbur told DBT. “I was under the impression that entering into this singles bubble basically meant guaranteed sex.” “But I haven’t even had a kiss. I don’t understand what the point of all this is.” Yesterday the couple sat down for talks on the matter, where Jessica French…
Read MoreWoman Calls Police On Her Singles Bubble Buddy, After He Started Seeing Other People
COVID HEARTBREAK: Police are investigating claims a man in a singles bubble began seeing other people. The allegations were raised by his disgruntled singles bubble parter, who says he should face fines. “He and I had been in our bubble for more than a week,” says Jane Quigley. “But then he breached it, putting others at risk.” But the man told police he was only going for a walk in the park with the other woman, in line with public health orders. Either way, Jane Quigley has since unfollowed the man on Instagram. NSW Police say they have now distanced…
Read MoreCovid Impact: Sydney Man Files For Divorce After Wife Goes One Month Without Injectables
The continued closure of cosmetic clinics and beauty salons is taking a heavy toll on one Sydney marriage. A Vaucluse man claims his wife has been left unrecognisable as she’s been forced to forgo her regular facials, filler and tanning treatments for the last month during lockdown. “You’ve really changed so much recently,” Michael Carter told his wife Felicity. “I’m so sorry, but you’re just not the person you used to be.” Mr Carter told DBT he’s now filed for divorce, sharing with our reporter a before/after photo of his wife. “You can see in the pic how her youthful…
Read More‘No Jab For Me,’ Says Anti-vaxxer Who Often Injects Himself With Steroids Purchased Off The Dark Web
A Sydney man is holding firm on his pledge to not to get vaccinated, despite injecting himself up to twice a week with steroids bought from a Ukrainian seller on the dark web. “Don’t join all the other sheep by getting vaccinated,” says Mark Ticehurst. “Those vaccines are lethal because we have no idea what’s in them.” The 31 year old brick shit house says injecting himself with steroids at home is all he needs to stay strong and covid free. “Plus I need to bulk up in time for the next anti-lockdown protest,” he says. “I’m dying to put a…
Read MoreSydney Chemists Now Also Offering AstraZeneca In Powder Form To Encourage Vaccinations
Community resistance to the AstraZeneca jab has led authorities to consider new ways of administering the vaccine. “Our research shows Sydney residents are significantly more comfortable consuming the vaccine in powder form,” says Dan McIntyre from NSW Health. That’s why, from midday today, pharmacies around Sydney will begin offering AstraZeneca as a powder, as an alternative to an injection. “Those getting vaccinated will be asked to snort two large lines of the vaccine,” says Dan McIntyre. “Then after one month they’ll come back for their second two lines.” “But they must snort it off their own mobile phone and use…
Read MoreWeekend Walk: Friends Use ‘Two Person Rule’ To Exclude Third Friend They Find Annoying
A Sydney woman has found herself feeling lonely and isolated after being rejected by her two friends during lockdown this morning. “They told me I couldn’t join them on the Bondi to Bronte walk because of the social distancing rules limiting groups of people exercising to two,” Diane Frederick told DBT. “I get it, but to be honest, I thought maybe they just didn’t want me there.” To distract herself from feeling shunned by her friends, Ms Frederick started doing house work, but then decided to do the Bondi to Bronte walk alone. “When I got there I saw them…
Read MoreArmy Launch Surprise Attack On Bondi Beach Outdoor Gym, Targeting Groups Larger Than Two
FROM THE LAND, SEA & AIR: The Australian Defence Force launched has a full scale assault on Bondi Beach outdoor gym, targeting groups larger than two. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we will do whatever it takes to enforce public health orders,” says NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian. ‘Operation Bondi Storm’ caught people at Bondi outdoor gym completely off guard at around 9.30am today. “Thankfully there were no casualties, as everyone fled the area quickly, but be warned, we will continue to send in troops to Sydney hotspots,” says the Premier. “And they won’t be afraid to…
Read More#BREAKING: Sydney’s Delta Outbreak Traced Back To Jimmy From The Bachelor
NSW Health contact tracers have identified the 2021 Bachelor Jimmy Nicholson as patient zero for Sydney’s Delta outbreak. “Initially we believed it was a Bondi limousine driver, however further contact tracing work shows it was actually Mr Nicholson from The Bachelor,” says Gladys Berejiklian. “Anyone who has come into contact with him is urged to isolate immediately.” After three episodes of Jimmy’s season of The Bachelor have gone to air, viewers have already seen him being intimate with several women. “He’s a super-spreader,” says Gladys Berejiklian. “The show was filmed more than six months ago, so he didn’t breach any…
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