Local father excited to see what he got his daughter for Christmas: Report
MYSTERY SHOPPER: A Sydney father who once again had zero involvement with the selection and purchase of his child’s Christmas gift, is this morning waiting with baited breath to find what out they got. “I leave gifting entirely up to my highly efficient wife,” Steve Jansen admitted to DBT. “I pretend I know what the gift is, but the truth is I have absolutely no idea.” “It adds that little bit of extra excitement to the gift giving process.” He says that extra adrenalin is crucial in helping him survive Christmas Day. “I need all the help I can get,”…
Read MoreLocal man googles “photo of positive RAT test” as perfect excuse to avoid Xmas lunch with the in-laws
HOME & HOSED: A Sydney man is resorting to fraudulent tactics to avoid Christmas with his in-laws. “I went last year and it was just too punishing,” says Raymond Cross. “So I’m telling them all, including my wife, that I have covid.” The 31 year old told DBT he’s been planning this for weeks. “Last year I tried telling my in-laws I have a badly sprained ankle, but they said to still come and just rest on their couch.” “But nobody questions the spicy cough, so I think I’m home and hosed.” The only downside, he’ll have to keep up…
Read MoreFrustrated Christmas shopper at Westfield Bondi uses up his two hours of free parking, looking for parking
TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY: A Sydney motorist says he’s been left traumatised today after spending two hours in Westfield Bondi Junction car park looking for parking. “I drove from parking level P4, right down to P1 without luck, so then I went over to the upper car park and combed R1 up to R4, and again, nothing.” The Bellevue Hill man says he lost track of time as he navigated his way around the complicated car park. “I think it was after an hour or so I broke out in a small sweat,” he says. He refused to…
Read MoreSydney man refusing to leave his Noosa hotel room, as there are way too many people he knows at the pool
SELF-IMPOSED EXILE: It was meant to be a relaxing family holiday in Queensland, but it’s quickly turned into a nightmare for one 28 year old Bondi man. Dan Haber is staying at the Noosa Sofitel with his parents and brother, but it’s already day two of the trip and he’s yet to leave the room. “There’s way too many people I know here,” he told DBT in an exclusive phone interview. “I can see them all at the pool from my window. Down there it’s like Hall street Bondi on a sunny weekend, except worse.” DBT understands Dan Haber’s parents…
Read MoreMother away on holidays sends lengthy text message with no interesting or useful information
GENERIC TEXT: A local mother holidaying in Noosa has sent her son a 52 word text message without including any interesting or useful information. “I had some spare time while waiting in the hotel lobby, so I thought I’d let Henry know we are safe and well,” Paddington’s Carol Kirwan told DBT. “But I’m not great at texting.” It took her more than 30 minutes to write and send the text, which mentioned the weather and some issues she and her husband were experiencing with hotel maintenance. DBT understands that her 29 year old son barely even read the text.…
Read MoreAustralia Post delivery driver sacked after actually knocking on someone’s door with parcel, instead of taking it straight to the post office
PUSHING THE ENVELOPE: A well-intentioned Australia Post delivery driver has lost his job after attempting to make life easier for a parcel recipient. “Instead of just leaving a ‘Sorry We Missed You’ card without ever attempting delivery, I thought I’d knock on the door and give them the parcel,” says David Brookes. Australia Post’s internal investigation revealed his actions were deliberate. “He admitted to knocking on the door to save the customer a trip to the post office,” An Australia Post spokesperson said. “This kind of efficiency undermines our entire business model.” “We cannot allow rogue behaviour like this to…
Read More“My career is peaking,” says Bondi influencer after scoring an invite to today’s Squid Game activation at Icebergs
PAY DAY: A Bondi influencer says her years of hard work are now finally paying off. Tamara Fulton this morning found herself among the ‘who’s who’ of Bondi’s micro-celebrity scene at the Squid Game activation at Icebergs. “I can’t believe I’m actually here,” she says. “Squid Game and Bondi Icebergs. Two of my favourite things.” The 27 year old posted multiple selfies with other influencers, carefully tagging only the ones with more followers than her. She also took part in a game of ‘Red Light Green, Light,’ but was the first player eliminated after failing to resist the temptation to…
Read MoreProud eastern suburbs parents hold press conference to announce their son’s ATAR of 99.65
RUNS IN THE FAMILY: Darling Point residents Anthony and Claudia Dewhurst staged a full-scale media event outside the home this morning to announce their son Zac’s ATAR of 99.65. “We’re just so proud of Zac,” Anthony Dewhurst told journalists. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Rival news networks jostled for position as the couple took questions about about Zac’s study habits and the finer detail of his HSC results. “He’s always been so disciplined,” Ms Dewhurst explained. “We had him on a strict regime of 6 hours of study a day, interspersed with personal tutoring and mindfulness sessions…
Read MoreEastern suburbs couple visiting the Blue Mountains embark on gruelling hike along Leura’s main shopping strip
INTO THE WILD: A Paddington couple have today set off on a daring feat of bravery and endurance. Samantha and James Wentworth-Tyson have begun a 700 metre hike along the main shopping strip of Leura in the Blue Mountains, 60 kilometres west of Sydney. “Wow, it’s so beautiful out here in the wilderness,” Samantha told DBT, as she walked past a boutique gift store, selling $80 tea towels. “It’s so good to reconnect with nature.” The pair began their day with a full English breakfast at Lilianfels Resort and Spa, where they’ve spent the last two nights. “We came here…
Read MoreWoman who saved 99c by finally remembering to bring a reusable tote bag to Woolies, rewards herself with a $5k tote bag from Christian Dior
GIRL MATH: A Double Bay woman is flaunting her new Christian Dior tote bag this morning. She purchased it after some quick thinking while getting ready to go to the supermarket. “Instead of buying a new reusable bag like I do every time, I finally remembered to bring one with me to Woolies,” Jess Burnett admitted to DBT. The 99c windfall was enough to convince her to splurge on a new $5000 Christian Dior tote bag. “Saving the environment and being smart with money means I can afford my luxury lifestyle,” she says. “I deserve it.” And the 28 year…
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