Posts by DBT
Victorian Premier Wears North Face Hospital Gown To Press Conference
The Victorian Premier has worn a North Face branded hospital gown to his first press conference since being admitted to hospital after a fall on Tuesday. “I’m pleased to announce my brand partnership with North face will continue for the duration of my hospital stay,” told reporters. Mr Andrews remains in intensive care with rib fractures, but appears to have avoided the worst the worst-case scenario of spinal cord damage. Doctors say surgery is unlikely. “The entire North Face team have been extremely supportive of me at this difficult time,” says The Premier. It remains unclear how much Andrews’ sponsorship…
Read MorePrince Philip Admits He Was Actually Worried Baby Archie Might Turn Out To Be A ‘Ginger’
The Duke of Edinburgh has moved to clarify comments by Meghan Markle that some members of the Royal family were concerned about the colour of baby Archie’s skin. “Yes, there were concerns he’d turn out to be a ginger,” the 99 year old said from his hospital bed today. “Why does everyone assume we’d be worried the baby would be dark?” As it happens, Archie did turn out to be a ginger, taking after his father Prince Harry. Recent photos of the baby show his pale skin and bright red hair. “There are way too many Gingers in the Royal…
Read MoreNewly Leaked Photo Shows Queen Using Colour Chart To Assess Baby Archie’s Skin Tone
The Monarchy has been rocked today by the release of a shocking photo in which Queen Elizabeth appears to be comparing baby Archie’s skin tone with a colour palate. “She’s clearly trying to work out how dark his skin is,” says Royal commentator Roy Harrington. “This is a very bad look for the Queen.” It comes after Meghan Markle told Oprah Winfrey there were “concerns & conversations” with Prince Harry about “how dark Archie’s skin might be when he was born”. While Ms Markle wouldn’t confirm who those conversations involved, the photo leaked to DBT’s London Bureau leaves little to…
Read MoreGrowing Calls For An Inquiry Into Why Harry Can Leave The Royals, But Australia Can’t
It’s the question almost every Australian is asking this morning, ‘Why is Australia still part of the British Monarchy?’ “I have enough drama in my own life, without worrying about whatever bullshit Meghan Markle is crapping on about today,” says one Sydney man. There are now growing calls for an inquiry into why Prince Harry can so easily glide away from his Royal duties, a country on the other side of the globe remains beholden. “It’s time to break the shackles,” one Perth woman told DBT. “I have zero interest in archaic family structures that do not apply to the…
Read MoreSeven Network Announce Meghan Markle As New Host Of Sunrise
The Duchess of Sussex is taking the next brave step in her show business career. Meghan Markle has been announced as the new host of the Sunrise breakfast TV show, taking over from Samantha Armytage who announced her resignation today. “I’m really looking forward to building up my profile down under,” Meghan Markle told DBT. “I’ve never tried breakfast TV, but I’m sure it will be easy.” Media analysts say the former actress is being hypocritical by saying she wants privacy, but at the same time heavily pursuing a career in the spotlight. It follows the former actor’s tell-all interview…
Read MoreMan Who’s Lived In Sydney His Entire Life Goes To SCG For Very First Time
A man who has lived about 400m from the SCG for the last 12 years has entered the hallowed stadium for the very first time last night. “I grew up in Sydney, but I’m not into sports so I’ve never been here before,” says James Whitby, as he watched the Mardi Gras parade from the Noble stand. “The atmosphere in here is electric.” Even though he’s never seen Australia play cricket at the SCG, he was fortunate enough to see some parade participants steaming in from the Paddington end last night. “It’s actually really nice in here,” he told DBT.…
Read MoreDarlinghurst Man Claims He’s Recovered From Mardi Gras After Eating Bowl Of Salad
A weary, brain dead Sydney man says he’s now fully recovered from a night of debauchery after deciding to eat salad for lunch today. “It’s really important to load your body with super foods,” says Bryce Fielding. “Also state of mind is crucial. Always remember to stay optimistic, even if your feeling down.” The Darlinghurst ad account executive had no trouble staying optimistic last night, after attending the Mardi Gras at the SCG, followed by an after party which only finished at 2pm. “I got home around 3pm and went straight to my local cafe for a salad.” he says.…
Read MoreIsrael Folau Spotted At Mardi Gras Recovery Party, After Dancing Through The Morning
Controversial footballer Israel Folau has partied through the night and morning, celebrating the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. The scantily clad 32 year old was photographed dancing at 11.00am at a Mardi Gras recovery party in Surry Hills. “Haha, normally I’d be at for Church right now,” he told a reporter covering the event. “Last night at the SCG was amazing, and this morning is even better!” As reported by DBT yesterday, Folau is trying to win back support from the gay community after his much publicised homophobic Instagram post in 2019. “I really want to resurrect my football…
Read MoreIsrael Folau Makes Shock Mardi Gras Appearance In Bid To Win Back Support From Gay Community
Controversial cross code footballer Israel Folau is tonight attempting to keep his hopes alive of returning to the NRL. Dressed in a bondage inspired fairy wing costume, the 32 year old has made a shock appearance at tonight’s Mardi Gras parade at the SCG. “I was actually one of the first people here,” Folau told DBT. “To be honest I’m having a mad time.” His contract with the ARU was scrapped in 2019, after his homophobic and much publicised Instagram post. Now he’s desperate to resurrect his career in the NRL, but knows he needs to win back support of…
Read MoreIkea Now Offering In-Store Relationship Counselling
The pressures of furniture shopping on couples has led one innovative retailer to offer in store relationship counselling. “Furniture shopping can be a real source of disagreement,” says Ikea’s Mark Hann. “We want to help our customers have a smooth and peaceful experience.” On a trial basis, Ikea’s store at Tempe in Sydney’s inner west has introduced a relationship counsellor to help settle disputes. “Whether you’re arguing about furniture selection, or about other matters, we want to help,” says Mark Hann. “Many of our clients have just started living together, so it’s a high stakes stage of their relationships.” Ikea…
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