Posts by DBT
Ikea Now Offering In-Store Relationship Counselling
The pressures of furniture shopping on couples has led one innovative retailer to offer in store relationship counselling. “Furniture shopping can be a real source of disagreement,” says Ikea’s Mark Hann. “We want to help our customers have a smooth and peaceful experience.” On a trial basis, Ikea’s store at Tempe in Sydney’s inner west has introduced a relationship counsellor to help settle disputes. “Whether you’re arguing about furniture selection, or about other matters, we want to help,” says Mark Hann. “Many of our clients have just started living together, so it’s a high stakes stage of their relationships.” Ikea…
Read More#BREAKING: Nobody Under 65 y.o Gives A Fuck About The Royal Family, Or Harry & Meghan
A new 18 month study has revealed some shocking home truths about the Royal Family. The report – conducted by market research firm Roy Morgan – found nobody around the world under the age of 65 y.o cares about the entire Royal Family, or Harry and Meghan. “Our research shows that these days people don’t derive extra importance from archaic family structures that do not apply in the modern world,” says report author Jim Tallon. The findings come as Oprah Winfrey releases yet another teaser of her interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. “Firstly, no one under the…
Read MoreCardinal George Pell Calls For Independent Inquiry Into Liberal Party Rape Allegations
Cardinal George Pell has spoken of his “dismay and disgust” over the rape allegations surrounding the Liberal Party. “It’s disgusting what’s allegedly happening in Canberra at the moment,” says the former Archbishop. “There are claims against Christian Porter, and also the seperate matter involving Brittany Higgins. Why can’t these politicians control themselves?” Pell has added his name to list of people calling for an independent inquiry into the various allegations. “MP’s are abusing their power and I wouldn’t be surprised if the abuse was widespread across both political parties,” he says. And the Cardinal has a message for Scott Morrison:…
Read More#EXCLUSIVE: Christian Porter Claims Alleged Rape Victim May Have Confused Him With Hugh Grant
Attorney-General Christian Porter has made a brave new claim on what might have happened to the alleged rape victim on that fateful night in 1988. “She might have me confused with Hugh Grant,” Christian Porter told a DBT journalist while on mental health leave. “I’m sure it was dark when the alleged rape happened and surely you can see the resemblance between us.” While both men have that unmistakable private school boy look, they’re also both known as ladies men. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of Hugh Grant, I loved him in Four Weddings and a Funeral,”…
Read More‘Trial By Media Must Be Avoided,’ Says PM Who Also Refuses Trial By Inquiry
The Prime Minister says trial by media is a dangerous and damaging scenario which must be avoided at all costs. But he remains equally resistant about calls for an independent inquiry into the rape allegations facing Attorney-General Christian Porter. “Case closed,” says Scott Morrison. “NSW Police have closed their investigation into the matter.” Despite Christian Porter being the most senior legal officer in the land, the coalition seemingly feels no further need to clear his name. Meantime he’s gone on leave to help deal with the mental anguish of the allegations. And the government expects Australians to feel reassured by…
Read MoreNeo-Nazi Group Leader Accused Of Reading Too Much Dr Seuss As A Child
Police are investigating claims a Melbourne neo-Nazi who allegedly assaulted a Channel Nine security guard, may have been exposed to too many Dr Seuss books as a child. Thomas Sewell was arrested over the incident yesterday, which left the black security guard in hospital. “We’re investigating if this racially motivated attack may have been triggered by Dr Seuss books,” says Police Chief Simon Waterson. “We are currently trying to determine how many Dr Seuss books the accused has read.” It comes as Dr Seuss’s publisher announces that six titles will no longer be published because of racist and insensitive imagery.…
Read MoreFitness First Kings Cross Announces Reopening Of Steam Room Ahead Of Mardi Gras
Fitness First Kings Cross members are expressing relief today after management announced that from Wednesday the gym’s steam room will reopen. It’s understood to be Sydney’s first steam room to become operational as covid restrictions ease, and it comes just in time for this weekend’s Mardi Gras celebrations. “Steam room fat shedding is such a crucial part of my Mardi Gras preparations,” gym member Tyler Newbold told DBT. “Typically I go into steam room shred mode in January, but this year I’ve been forced to wait till March. Now we’ve only got a few days before the parade!” Mr Newbold…
Read MoreNSW Man Still Wearing Mask After Zero Infections In 40 Days, Clearly Just Avoiding Social Activity
A Sydney man has admitted that his move to continue wearing a face mask has nothing to do with covid-19. “It’s just a great way to avoid having to talk to people I bump into on the street,” says Marc Danbury. “I reckon it saves me at least 30 minutes of small talk every day.” He says he often sees acquaintances who don’t recognise him behind his mask. “I love it,” he says. “Sometimes I also wear sunglasses to make sure of it. It’s awesome just cruising around completely under the radar.” But with no new Coronavirus cases in New…
Read MoreMarried Couple Finally Start Spending Time Together Again As MAFS Returns
The new series of Married At First Sight is providing some much needed relief for a local married couple. Sydney’s Paul and Jenna Manning say they are finally spending time together again. “We also hung out briefly to watch the MAFS reunion a few weeks ago,” says Paul. “But apart from that, we haven’t spent any quality time together since last year’s MAFS season.” The pair admit to constant fighting over the course of their four years in wedlock, and say the show acts as a form of therapy. “Watching the contestants marriage’s fail dismally makes us feel better about…
Read MoreQLD Retiree In Hospital After Covid Vaccine Overdose, Gets Surprise Visit From Pete Evans
Former celebrity chef Pete Evans has paid a surprise visit to an elderly Queensland woman in hospital after receiving an overdose of the Covid vaccine. “This is why I’m an anti-vaxxer,” he told the woman, who appeared confused about who Evans is, and what he was doing in her hospital room. “An untrained doctor has given you four times the correct dose,” he told her. “I think there’s a chance you could even mutate into a bat.” But thankfully Evans’ visit was short-lived. As he continued his anti-vax rant, security forcibly removed him from the hospital. So far the woman…
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