Posts by DBT
Andrew Bolt Hosts Panel Discussion With Porter & Pell On Jarryd Hayne Guilty Verdict
Sky News host Andrew Bolt has assembled an all-star cast for a special panel discussion after Jarryd Hayne was found guilty of sexual assault. “This verdict is an absolute joke,” Andrew Bolt says in the segment promo. “I believe Jarryd is a good kid. He’s just been made just another victim of the woke mob.” The former footballer is now a convicted sex offender after he was found guilty of sexually assaulting a woman at her Newcastle home. “I think Jarryd will definitely appeal this verdict,” says Cardinal George Pell. “I believe his appeal will be successful and justice will be…
Read MoreInnovative Man Posts Screenshot Of Weather App To Instagram
Instagram followers of Simon Dooley won’t need to check their weather apps today. The 26 year old has taken the ingenious step of sharing a weather app screen shot to Instagram. “I just thought it would be a useful thing to share,” says the Paddington man. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone else do that before.” As Sydney continues to get drenched by days of heavy rain, Simon Dooley’s Instagram followers say they’re grateful for the weather update. “It’s good to know someone is across the weather forecast for today,” says one of his followers. “His post was really…
Read MorePolice Commissioner Calls For Mandatory Filming Of All Sexual Encounters To Ensure Consent
The NSW Police Commissioner says filming all sexual encounters may be the only truly viable way of avoiding legal complications around sexual consent. “Everyone has a mobile phone,” says Mick Fuller. “Hold it yourself, or put it on a tripod and film it yourself. It’s not difficult.” It follows widespread criticism of his earlier call for the introduction of a sex consent app to address the growing rate of sexual assaults. “I can see now how that wasn’t a great idea,” says Mick Fuller. “But it’s very difficult to argue with video footage.” Under his new video proposal, NSW residents…
Read MorePolice Commissioner Announces Plan To Create Sex Consent Form Within Service NSW App
The NSW Police Commissioner says the Service NSW app is the perfect place to house a sex consent form. “The app has already been instrumental in Covid-19 contact tracing,” says Mick Fuller. “We can also now use it to help reduce sex assaults.” Under his proposal, parties will be asked to use QR code technology to ‘check in’ with each other. The app will then prompt them to respond ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to a question asking for their consent. “Once both parties click ‘yes’ they will be sent an email confirming they have officially identified themselves as willing sexual participants,”…
Read MoreBondi Actor Gets Big Break Playing The Waiter On MAFS Who Says ‘Dinner Is Served’
A struggling Bondi actor has landed a role on one of Australia’s highest rating TV shows. Daniel Rocca is appearing on the 8th season of Married At First Sight.. but not as one of the contestants. “I’m the waiter who briefly comes on just before every dinner party and says: ‘Dinner is served.’ The NIDA trained actor, who has also done 4 levels of theatresports at Improv Australia, says the job is harder than it looks. “You have to know the perfect time to say the line, right at the peak of contestant conflict at the pre-dinner drinks,” he says.…
Read MorePoint Piper Man Blames His Shocking Golf Score On Heavily Fluctuating Crypto Prices
Wildly fluctuating cryptocurrency prices are being blamed for a blowout at Moore Park golf course today. With a handicap of +10, Bryce Jones finished his round 23 strokes over par today. “He spent most of his round looking at his phone,” says one of his playing partners. “He was checking the cyrpto prices after literally every one of his shots.” It’s understood on the par 4 third hole, the Point Piper man sprayed his second shot into the bunker after the price Bitcoin dropped 3%. “From there he was unconsolable,” says his friend. “Although it was hard to tell what…
Read MorePrince Philip Announces Plan To Leave The Royal Family
Buckingham Palace is preparing for the departure of yet another key member of the Royal Family. After Prince Harry and his wife Meghan shocked the world last year by stepping back from their Royal duties, Prince Philip has today announced he will soon be doing the same. “Just a heads up, I won’t be around here for much longer,” said the Duke of Edinburgh. “The time has come for me to take an extended break. I’m sick and tired of life in the spotlight.” The 99 year old has just been released from a London hospital where he spent nearly…
Read MoreSydney Man Lists His Cryptocurrency Portfolio On His Tinder Bio
A Sydney man has listed his $22,000 cryptocurrency portfolio in the ‘About Me’ section of his Tinder bio. Eddy Morgan says he wants to give his Tinder matches a clear picture of what he’s interested in. “I love my crypto!” he told DBT. “Crypto is the future and currently I have a lot of it! First you get the crypto, then you get the ladies haha.” The 27 year old says his Tinder bio used to say he’s into ‘fast cars and fine dining.’ But the recent rapid increase in the value of Bitcoin led him to re-think his bio.…
Read MoreSeven Network To Increase On-Air Diversity By Employing Ethnic Man To Wear Cash Cow Costume
The Seven Network is today being applauded by media diversity advocates, after the Sunrise breakfast TV show appointed an ethnic man to wear the Cash Cow costume. “Having ethnically diverse on-air talent is a huge priority for us here at the Seven Network,” says Seven executive Wayne Peters. “And the Cash Cow is a very important and popular member of our team.” From next Monday the Cash Cow costume will be worn by the ethnic man. His identity remains a mystery, but Seven executives say he’s of Indian heritage. “Typically we’ve only used Anglo-Australian people to be the Cash Cow,”…
Read MoreMan Using Blow Up Doll In Passenger Seat So He Can Use T2 Lane
A Sydney man claims to have found a legitimate traffic hack which is saving him “hours each week. Paul Fischer is using an inflatable sex doll in his passenger seat so that he can use the T2 transit lane, which is a lane reserved for vehicles with a minimum of 2 passengers. “There are two occupants in this car,” he told DBT. “Only one of us has a heart beat, but I’m not sure how relevant that is.” The Vaucluse man has been putting a seat belt around his blow up doll and using the T2 lanes on New South Head…
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