“Hey are we still on for today?” woman texts her fiance on their wedding day

CANCEL CULTURE: Only two hours before a Sydney couple is set to walk down the aisle to get married, the bride-to-be sent her fiance Harry a WhatsApp message asking: “Are we still on for today?” “I just wanted to give him an out, you know?” Julie Manning told DBT. “I’m so used to people canceling plans with me at the last second, I wanted to extend Harry the same courtesy.” She followed up her first text with another: “No worries if you want to cancel or postpone. No pressure :).” At press time, Harry is still yet to reply, leaving…

Read More

Sydney marketing/PR executive sacked for attending a meeting without an oversized, brightly coloured water bottle

INSTANT DISMISSAL: A Sydney communications executive has been unceremoniously fired for turning up to a meeting without the mandatory oversized water bottle. Account manager Meghan Smethurst only had a cup of coffee, leaving her manager disgusted and angry. “You’ve really let us, and yourself, down!” said the boss. “This is a clear violation of our values.” Other workers in the meeting reported a tense atmosphere as the young executive’s lack of an oversized water bottle became apparent. “It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion,” one attendee recalled. “You could feel the disappointment in the room.” Meghan Smethurst…

Read More

A BRIDGE TOO FAR: Eastern suburbs man driving to the CBD chooses one wrong lane and ends up in North Sydney

WRONG WAY, GO BACK: A Bondi man has paid a heavy price for a navigation fail this afternoon. Dave Crane was heading for a doctor’s appointment in the city, but he tragically ended up in North Sydney. “I was just following my GPS, but it directed me into the wrong lane and then over the Harbour Bridge,” Dave Crane told DBT. The 32 year old was left bitterly disappointed. “It’s was possibly the most demoralising experience I’ve ever had,” he admitted to DBT. “And it’s the first time I’ve left the east in years.” As quick as he could, Dave…

Read More

Friends long weekend away descends into power struggles, car pooling drama and fights about budgets & accommodation

JUST STAY HOME: It was meant to be a relaxing weekend away with friends at a Hunter Valley Airbnb, but it’s turned into a bitter standoff, with heated debates and serious doubts over the future of the friend group. The drama began before the trip even started, as the group of six struggled to agree on who would drive and how many cars would be needed. “The amount of politics involved was off the charts,” one friend quipped. Once on the road, tensions escalated over music choices, rest stops, and driving responsibilities. Upon arrival, the fighting continued as the group…

Read More

“My good friend Tom dropped me off here on his boat,” claims woman who actually got the ferry from Circular Quay

HELLO SAILOR: A Sydney woman is being called out for lying to friends about how she got to Double Bay. “My friend Tom is so nice to me, he just dropped me off his boat at the beach nearby,” claimed Fiona Murray as she arrived at Double Bay. “It’s so good to have friends with boats,” she says. But several witnesses say they saw the 27 year old arrive today on the 1.30pm Sydney Ferry service from Manly, via Circular Quay. DBT has reached out to interview Ms Murray, but she’s yet to respond. Her instagram shows a photo of…

Read More

“I’m honoured & humbled,” writes man on LinkedIn after appointing himself CEO of start-up he founded last week

HUMBLE BRAG: A local entrepreneur, thought leader and mentor has spent his Tuesday afternoon writing a 300 word LinkedIn post about how ‘humbled’ he is to get a new job. Mark Paluka has just announced himself as CEO of an ‘innovation hub’ he founded last week. “This honour has left me speechless,” he wrote. The new company which currently has a total staff count of one (including the CEO), has yet to secure any funding or produce any kind of business plan. “From the moment I conceptualised this company last weekend, to my appointment as CEO today, it’s been an…

Read More

INSTANT ICK: Eastern suburbs woman forced to flee Hinge date after he showed up on a share bike

GHOSTED: A Bellevue Hill has told of the shocking moment her Hinge date arrived on a clunky green Lime bike, prompting her to make a swift exit. “He didn’t even see me I don’t think,” Sally Gibbons told DBT. “I was out of there so quickly.” The pair were set to have a coffee date at a Paddington cafe after matching on the app. But when she saw him arrive on the share bike, complete with helmet and green bicycle basket, she says she got the “instant ick.” “I get that share bikes are good for the environment, and he seemed…

Read More

The Golden Sheaf introduce mandatory dress code for males: white sneakers, beige chinos and a white linen shirt

CARBON COPY: In a bold move to ensure fashion consistency among its male patrons, a popular Double Bay pub is implementing a mandatory dress code: white sneakers, beige chinos, and a white linen shirt. “We want to maintain The Golden Sheaf’s reputation as a fashionable and sophisticated venue,” says The Sheaf management. “This is not just a dress code, it’s a community.” From the start of April, male patrons will not be allowed into the venue unless they are wearing the specific uniform set out on the Sheaf’s website. “Let’s face it, that’s all most people wear these days anyway,”…

Read More

Eastern suburbs man applies to go on Farmer Wants A Wife after buying a pair of R.M. Williams

CONCRETE COWBOY: A Double Bay man looking for love is hoping that buying a pair of R.M. Williams will qualify him for Channel Seven’s reality TV show Farmer Wants A Wife. “Working in corporate finance, I rarely get to leave the city to be honest,” Sam Biggs admitted to DBT. “But ever since I bought my R.M. Williams last week from Westfield Bondi Junction, I’ve begun feeling a genuine connection with rural Australia.” The 32 year old, who’s lived in Double Bay his whole life yesterday submitted his application for the next season of the show, in which farmers embark…

Read More

#BREAKING: Pauline Hanson calls for name change of Arnott’s ‘Ginger Nut’ biscuits

BISCUIT BROUHAHA: In an address to the senate today, One Nation Leader Pauline Hanson said she’s shining a light on what she calls ‘blatant discrimination.” “It’s a travesty that Coon Cheese is forced into a rebrand, yet Arnott’s Ginger Nut biscuits are allowed to continue trading under their existing name,” she says. “These biscuits are an attack on people with red hair.” Ms Hanson says she regularly feels a victim of discrimination in Australia for having red hair, something made worse by Ginger Nut biscuits. “The brand name of these biscuits is basically a hate crime,” she says. The American…

Read More