Posts Tagged ‘Already Run’
“Always wash your fruit properly before eating it!” says woman who spent a decade doing rack cut with laundry detergent & pool chlorine
CLEAN EATING: A self-proclaimed holistic health enthusiast has taken to Instagram to remind her 438 followers about the importance of properly washing fruit before consumption. “Guys, you must wash your fruit to avoid ingesting harmful chemicals,” Crystal McKenzie said in a video. “You never know what’s been sprayed on it.” Mrs McKenzie – who sells essential oils and gluten-free scented candles on her lifestyle blog – insists that consuming anything “unnatural” can have a disastrous effect on your body and soul. However the Dover Heights mother of three is conveniently glossing over her colourful past; twenty years of regular cocaine…
Read MoreBurnt out executive calls in sick so he can stay home and catch up on work
UNDER THE PUMP: The end of the week is fast approaching, but local man Paul Barbosa still has so much work to do. “The only way I get anything done these days is when I’m working remotely from home,” he told DBT. “Otherwise I just get bogged down with generic chit chat with colleagues and pushy requests to do other people’s work for them.” The overworked financial services professional has already had his one day of remote work this week, so today he’s taken a sick day to stay home and finish an urgent report. The eyebrow-raising move has again…
Read MoreStudent expelled from Scots College after his dad came to pick him up in a 2021 Toyota Corolla
FALL FROM GRACE: A year 9 student was expelled from a prestigious Sydney private school this week – his only crime? His father arrived to pick him up in a 2021 Toyota Corolla. Student Luke Wells-Jonas’ time at Scots College came to an abrupt end after a teacher saw him get into the car during the afternoon pick up rush. “When I got to school yesterday morning I was called into the headmaster’s office and told to never come,” says Luke Wells-Jonas. Scots College has been unresponsive to DBT’s interview requests. However one teacher told DBT “we need to keep…
Read MoreNew study finds 2.5 minutes late to work call is the ideal timing to skip small talk, while staying under the radar
LYING LOW: A new report has identified the optimal time to join a work call: exactly 2 minutes and 30 seconds late. According to the study, this is the sweet spot that allows you to bypass the dreaded awkward small talk, while still appearing on time. “Those who join virtual meetings 2.5 minutes late are far less likely to be subjected to inane conversations about the weather, weekend plans, or the latest Netflix series,” says Kyle Reagan from the Workplace Optimisation Institute, which conducted the research. “These workers are able to seamlessly integrate onto the call just as the serious discussion…
Read MoreRENTAL CRISIS: Bondi man now charging girlfriend $75 a night to stay at his place, just to make sure she’s not using him for accomodation
PAY TO STAY: It’s a bold new approach to dating that has sparked both outrage and admiration. Bondi’s Phil Pito has begun charging his girlfriend of three months $75 per night to stay at his apartment, citing the rental crisis and rising living costs. “I think it’s a fair price to be honest,” he told DBT. “It’s a similar nightly rate to a youth hostel in the area and I just want to make sure she’s not using me for accomodation.” The arrangement includes also discounts for stays exceeding three consecutive nights. But his girlfriend is less than enthusiastic. “It’s…
Read MoreMiddle age Sydneysiders now going clubbing at Woolworths, where they can hear all their favourite tunes
OFF TROLLEY: A group of middle age Sydneysiders have been gathering at their local supermarket for social activity, it can be confirmed. “Woolworths Double Bay has been going off lately,” says one party goer. And DBT understands there’s a special VIP area near the fruit and veg section. “I’m meeting some friends near the lettuce at 8pm,” one man admitted to DBT. Others are going clubbing there alone. “Yeah Woolworths Radio is awesome,” says one former Sydney nightclub queen. “I come here anytime and pretend to need groceries.” But not everyone’s thrilled about the supermarket sessions. “I just came for…
Read MoreLocal divorcee re-enters Sydney’s party scene, but this time with necklaces, bracelets and his top three shirt buttons undone
BOLD TRANSFORMATION: After a ten year partying hiatus, local man Michael Labroy is back on Sydney’s social scene. And this time he’s not mucking around. The 43 year old recent divorcee spent today at the Watson’s Bay Hotel wearing loads of bangles and with his chest on display. “The last decade has taught me a lot about life and people,” he told DBT. “I’ve changed a lot and I think my new jewellery helps give me a fresh perspective.” He also believes it could potentially help him meet a new partner. “Yeah I think it all looks pretty cool,” he…
Read MoreSydney man awarded Nobel Peace Prize after leaving share bike standing upright, undamaged, in a considerate & safe location with helmet intact
BREAKING THE CYCLE: History was made today as a Sydney man was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his impeccable bike sharing etiquette. Henry Gardiner clinched the award for his ‘Services to the Community and Environment’ after leaving a share bike upright, undamaged, and with its helmet neatly attached. “He even left it in a perfectly practical and considerate location in Potts Point, not obstructing pedestrians in any way,” says the Nobel Committee. “We’re confident his actions will inspire a new wave of peaceful coexistence among urban commuters worldwide.” Harry Gardiner is remaining humble. “I just thought that’s how most…
Read MoreMiddle aged man completely unaware club playing all his favourite tracks is having a retro night
OLD SCHOOL: A local 48 year old man has returned to Sydney’s clubbing scene tonight after a 20 year hiatus. David Marshall-Bryant wore his coolest clothes and trucker cap to a popular Sydney nightclub and shouted to nobody in particular: “Hey, they’re playing all my favorite songs!” However the divorced father of two was blissfully unaware the club was actually hosting a retro night, playing only classic dance music from the 1990’s. “How good are the Vengaboys?” he said, while dusting off his best dance moves from when he used to go clubbing at DCM’s, Byblos and Q Bar on…
Read MoreBaker Bleu announce new ‘fast pass’ for people who just want to take a selfie then leave
PLACE TO BE (SEEN) Customers at Baker Bleu can expect shorter queues this weekend, as the popular bakery introduces a ‘fast pass.’ “Our Baker Bleu fast pass entitles you entry to the story for no more than one minute,” says bakery management. “Enough time to get a good selfie. The goal is to reduce in-store congestion.” For a small fee, customers can now skip the bread line and head straight to a specially designed selfie spot. The ‘fast pass’ was available from this yesterday, with thousands so far jumping at the opportunity. “I quickly went to Baker Bleu for my…
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