Posts Tagged ‘Already Run’
Single man without children torn between sleeping in, playing golf or flying to Machu Picchu
DECISION FATIGUE: A Woollahra man found himself paralysed by choice this morning as he woke up with a blissfully empty calendar on his first day of annual leave. Andrew Marshall agonised over three equally indulgent options: sleeping past 9am, going for a round of golf or booking a last-minute flight to Machu Picchu. “I had a full night of uninterrupted sleep, so I don’t think I need to sleep in, plus I could always have a nap later anyway,” he told DBT. “I’m tempted to go and try shave a few strokes off my handicap, or I could literally be…
Read MoreBondi Junction masterplan revealed: Entire suburb to become one giant Mecca store
GLOW-UP: Waverley Council has unveiled its long-awaited Bondi Junction masterplan, confirming the entire suburb will be re-zoned as one giant 10-storey Mecca store. Westfield, Oxford Street Mall and several office and residential towers will be absorbed into one enormous beauty retail complex, featuring 47 fragrance counters and more than 1600 mirrors. “Bondi Junction has enormous untapped potential,” says the council. “It’s currently a confusing mix of traffic, bad discount stores, activewear and emotional distress. This redevelopment will finally give the suburb a clear identity.” Concerns about the area’s struggling night-time economy have been addressed by new zoning laws allowing the…
Read MoreHOWZIT BRU: Man maintains thick South African accent, despite moving to Australia as a baby in 1978
SHAME: A 50-year-old Sydney man has miraculously maintained his South African accent, despite only living overseas briefly as a baby. Gavin Michaels moved to Australia from Cape Town when he was only three years old, and he’s been living in Sydney’s east ever since. Friends say Michaels’ accent appears to become even stronger around other South Africans, during rugby matches, and when discussing Woolworths biltong quality. “I’m not actually sure why I have this accent still,” says the Dover Heights resident. “It’s just the way I speak. Some things you can’t change.” But accent experts are questioning how he still…
Read MoreHousing crisis deepens in Sydney’s east as experts warn of critical shortage of homes with helipads
1ST WORLD PROBLEMS: A severe shortage of homes with helipads in Sydney’s east is prompting fears of a worsening housing crisis among the city’s most vulnerable high-net-worth families. “It’s devastating,” said Double Bay agent Marcus Levinson-Webb. “Helipad availability in the eastern suburbs has dropped 19% since March, forcing some buyers to rely on limousine services alone.” “Others are doing the unthinkable and leaving the eastern suburbs entirely.” The crisis is reportedly hitting hardest in suburbs like Point Piper, Vaucluse and Bellevue Hill. The state government says it is monitoring the situation closely and has not ruled out rezoning several tennis…
Read MoreGlassons installs treadmills in stores to give shoppers one last chance of fitting into its clothes
QUICK SHRED: Fashion retailer Glassons has unveiled a bold new in-store experience, installing treadmills in stores nationwide to help customers “bridge the gap” between the human body and its sizing system. “This gives shoppers one final opportunity before blaming the garment,” said a spokesperson. As part of the initiative, called Fit Before You Fit, customers will be invited to complete a 12-minute uphill sprint before attempting to try on anything. Early trials have been successful, with one shopper managing to zip up a size 10 skirt after 40 minutes of interval training and three electrolyte tablets. “I didn’t realise shopping…
Read MoreNSW Premier announces tough new laws banning Bondi Junction residents from saying they live in ‘Bondi’
WORLD’S APART: The NSW Premier is taking some much needed action to restore geographical truth and social order in Sydney’s eastern suburbs. Chris Minns has unveiled strict new legislation banning Bondi Junction residents from claiming they live in “Bondi.” “Enough is enough,” he said at a press conference a short time ago. “Bondi Junction residents live near a train station and a shopping mall, not the ocean.” “They’re 2.3 kilometres and a steep hill away from any sand, so they shouldn’t be able to adopt surf culture.” The ‘Truth in Postcode Representation Act’ will impose tough penalties, including $1,500 on-the-spot…
Read MoreLoreto Kirribilli asks student who grew up in St Leonards to give speech at assembly about hardship and resilience
RAGS TO RICHES: A student at a top private girls school in Sydney’s Lower North Shore has shared her remarkable story of transformation, against all odds. Year 11 Loreto Kirribilli student Emma Fullerton-Hayes gave a speech at school assembly today about her traumatic childhood in St Leonards. “Life was very different for me back then,” she said. “For starters I used to go to North Sydney Public School and at home we didn’t even have harbour views or a private chef.” Fullerton-Hayes, whose family moved to Cremorne in 2019, said she was initially hesitant to share her story but ultimately felt…
Read MoreREPORT: 12% of drivers on the Harbour Bridge are only there because they took a wrong turn in the city
LAP OF HONOUR: Sydney’s complex road network is catching out a growing number of drivers who are finding themselves on the Harbour Bridge, against their will. A new report by the NRMA has found a staggering 12% of north-bound motorists are on the bridge by mistake after taking a wrong turn or getting stuck in the wrong lane while driving in the CBD. “Yesterday I was driving in Woolloomooloo heading into the city when all of a sudden I was on the Cahill Expressway with no way of turning around,” says one Rose Bay man. “The only way to get…
Read MoreSydney’s nightlife now so bleak, Time Out names Woolworths Double Bay the city’s top party spot
OFF TROLLEY: Woolworths Double Bay is the latest hotspot for a generation misled by covid lockdowns and Sydney’s lockout laws. Hundreds of revellers are gathering there on Friday and Saturday nights. “Yeah Woolworths Double Bay has been going off lately,” confirms one party goer. And DBT understands there’s a special VIP area near the fruit and veg section. “I’m meeting some friends near the lettuce at 8pm,” says one former Sydney nightclub queen. “I come here and pretend to need groceries and just hang for a few hours.” “There’s no door policy here so it’s pretty good.” But not everyone’s…
Read MoreJetstar soon to offer flights from Sydney Airport to Western Sydney International
SHORT HAUL TRAVEL: Travellers using Western Sydney International Airport will soon be able to fly there direct from Sydney Kingsford Smith Airport. “It’s our newest domestic offering,” says a Jetstar spokesperson. “The flight time is expected to be eleven minutes and only costs $111 dollars, including light refreshments.” The news is being welcomed in Sydney’s east, where many residents are concerned about travelling to Badgerys Creek by road. “I rarely drive anywhere past Anzac Parade,” admits one local woman. “And this flight is much cheaper than an Uber, especially with all the road tolls.” At time of publication, Jetstar confirmed passengers…
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