“Inflight entertainment is so good these days,” says boomer who watched the flight path screen for entire 14 hour trip 

PEAK BOOMER: A local baby boomer has declared modern airline entertainment to be “fantastic” after spending his entire flight from Sydney to L.A captivated by the plane’s flight path, blissfully unaware of the myriad of other entertainment options available. “I can’t believe they have the technology to show where the plane is in real-time,” Malcolm Riley told DBT after arriving in America “There is also weather information, plane speed, altitude and even time of arrival!” “There is so much to stay across, I was so busy the whole flight that I didn’t get any sleep.” However the 71 year old…

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Local woman uses #DateNight caption on photo with husband to make marriage seem fun

KEEPING UP APPEARANCES: A Sydney woman has attempted to impress her Instagram followers with a photo of herself and her husband Max out for dinner last night. “#DateNight!” Jane Stone captioned the photo of the pair at a local restaurant. “Max and I have already been married for seven years,” she told DBT. “But we still have so much excitement in our relationship!” However witnesses at the restaurant tell a very different story. One man who was sitting at a table nearby says the couple didn’t smile once all night, except for the photo. “Actually I didn’t see them speak…

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Yo-Chi Surry Hills opens express lane for customers who take less than one minute to choose their yoghurt and toppings

FAST PASS: A popular local frozen yogurt store has introduced an initiative to reduce congestion in its store. Yo-Chi Surry Hills has a new express lane, rewarding customers who take less than one minute to select their yoghurt and toppings. “Those completing their transaction in less than 60 seconds are rewarded with a VIP pass to the express lane for next time,” says Yo-Chi management. The new system comes in response to customers spending excessive time trying to get the perfect selection and proportions of yoghurt and toppings. “It’s like artwork getting the right combination of sprinkles versus crushed Oreos,”…

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Single man on bender tries his luck one last time by going from the nightclub directly to run club

CLUBBIN’: In a valiant quest for love, local man Joel McSmith has conquered the ultimate test of endurance this morning. He transitioned seamlessly from the thumping beats of Club 77, to the rhythmic pavement pounding at his local run club. “I didn’t meet anyone nice at Club 77,” he admitted to DBT. “And I still had so much energy at 5.30am, so I thought I’d roll the dice again at run club.” The ambitious 31 year old went home briefly to shower, change and powder his nose to be ready for run club at 6am. “I felt fresh as a…

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Seven Network announce new reality TV show: ‘A Renter Wants A Home’

HARSH REALITY: The Seven Network says it aims to highlight the severity of Sydney’s rental crisis with its latest reality TV offering ‘A Renter Wants A Home.’ “It’s not for the faint hearted,” says Seven programming boss Steve Yardley. “It’s kind of like ‘The Block’ meets ‘The Hunger Games’.” ‘A Renter Wants A Home’ will see five contestants competing to rent a liveable home within the Sydney metropolitan area for under $800 per week. The 13 episode series takes viewers on a rollercoaster ride of overcrowded rental inspections, skyrocketing prices, and vicious landlord negotiations. “I couldn’t think of anything worse…

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BIRTHDAY TRAGEDY: Vaucluse teenager gifted new Porsche Cayenne, instead of keys to first home

GRIM GIFT: A birthday celebration in Sydney’s affluent suburb of Vaucluse took a tragic turn when a well-intentioned parent’s gift missed the mark by a considerable margin. Nineteen year old Felicity Argylle-McGraw was eagerly anticipating the milestone moment when she would finally receive the keys to her own multi-million dollar inner city apartment. But her hopes were dashed when she was instead given a brand-new Porsche Cayenne, worth $170,000. “I thought it was a joke at first,” Ms Argylle-McGraw told DBT, still wiping tears from her face. “The Porsche isn’t even that big of a step up from the BMW…

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COST OF LIVING CRISIS: Fitness lovers now doing their daily workout in the weights section at Rebel Sport

SHOPLIFTING: Soaring gym membership prices are proving no obstacle for an enterprising group of people who are now doing their daily workout at Rebel Sport in the CBD. “I’ve been coming here everyday,” one man told DBT while lifting weights without a shirt on. “Or sometimes I go to Kmart. They also have a decent gym section.” Other people at Rebel have also been using the store’s elliptical equipment. “If any staff ask why I’ve been on the cross trainer for 30 minutes, I just say I’m using it on a ‘try before I buy’ basis,” says one woman. Gym…

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Bondi woman hosts farewell party for friend who is moving to Manly

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN: Tears are flowing today, as long distance threatens to end a life-long friendship between two Sydney women. Bondi resident Kate Parkes announced last week that she’s moving more than 20 km’s away to Manly in Sydney’s north to live with her boyfriend. “I’m devastated,” says Kate’s neighbour and old friend Jenna Philby who hosted a farewell party last night. “We’ve promised each other that we’ll stay in touch via WhatsApp, but unfortunately I’ll never get to see her anymore!” The pair both say it’ll be too difficult to meet up face to face given their busy…

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Double Bay woman wears North Face puffer jacket to help brave the cooler climates inside Woolworths

URBAN ADVENTURE: Puffer jacket season has come early for one Double Bay woman. Sally Riley normally gets her groceries delivered, but today, after running out of bottled water and organic yoghurt, she was forced to brave the cool climates of her local Woolworths. “The meat and dairy sections are the worst,” the 29 year old told DBT. “But sometimes in life you really need to step outside of your comfort zone.” Ms Riley wore her North Face puffer jacket, typically reserved for sub-zero temperatures. She paired the jacket with a black turtleneck sweater and beige corduroy pants. “I’m pretty much…

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LinkedIn adds new ‘Get A Real Job’ reaction button

GET REAL: In a bold move that’s shaking up the professional networking world, social networking website LinkedIn has added a new reaction button to give users a broader choice beyond ‘Like,’ ‘Comment’ or ‘Share.’ “Our new ‘Get A Real Job’ button is already proving a popular option since it was introduced yesterday,” says a spokesperson. The new reaction button is being used heavily on posts featuring videos posted by users sharing generic business advice and passing themselves off as ‘experts.’ “Unfortunately our platform has become overrun by users with extremely questionable job titles, like ‘coach,’ mentor’ or ‘enabler,’” says the…

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