Posts Tagged ‘Already Maybe’
Local man hires private investigator to find out what his friends are doing on New Year’s Eve
FOMO: With only one day to go before New Year’s Eve, a Sydney man is taking drastic and desperate steps to uncover how his friends arespending the big night. “I haven’t been invited anywhere yet,” Dan Borger admitted to DBT. “But I suspect there is a party happening.” To find out, the 31 year old has hired a private investigator to track suspicious group chats, analyse social media patterns and conduct covert surveillance. So far the investigator has spotted one of Dan’s friends at a party supply store purchasing 50 sparklers and a crate of champagne. “He’s also found a…
Read MoreLocal man googles “photo of positive RAT test” as perfect excuse to avoid Xmas lunch with the in-laws
HOME & HOSED: A Sydney man is resorting to fraudulent tactics to avoid Christmas with his in-laws. “I went last year and it was just too punishing,” says Raymond Cross. “So I’m telling them all, including my wife, that I have covid.” The 31 year old told DBT he’s been planning this for weeks. “Last year I tried telling my in-laws I have a badly sprained ankle, but they said to still come and just rest on their couch.” “But nobody questions the spicy cough, so I think I’m home and hosed.” The only downside, he’ll have to keep up…
Read MoreSydney woman devastated as her usual barista quits, leaving her to explain her complex coffee order to someone new
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS: A Paddington woman has been left reeling after her trusted barista left his job, shattering her morning routine and plunging her into the unthinkable; explaining her coffee order to a different barista. For the last two years Rachel White has ordered her ‘decaf, half-strength almond milk flat white with exactly 37°C steamed milk and two-and-a-half Equal,’ by saying: “Just the usual thanks.” “Now I have to start explaining that order to someone new,” she told our reporter. “I don’t have the emotional energy. It’s not just coffee, it’s a relationship built on trust.” The 31 year old…
Read More“We should totally grab a beer soon!” says old friend who never even replies to your calls or texts
ON THE BEERS: Sam Galoti suggested to his old friend Peter Manning they “catch up for a beer soon.” That was 3 years ago, and Sam keeps suggesting it every time they bump into each other. “It’s so annoying,” Peter Manning told DBT. “He’s never actually suggested a time or place, but he always, always talks about it. I reckon he’s suggested it at least 20 times.” The pair met at university 5 years ago and they later coincidentally worked together for 18 months. Now they bump into each other on the street from time to time. “Honestly I really…
Read More“It’s so good to be out in nature,” says woman in park while on a ciggie break during lunch at Catalina
WILDLIFE: A Potts Point woman has rediscovered the joys of nature by stepping outside a swanky restaurant for a five-minute cigarette break in the park. Maggie Tunstall was joined by her friend Max at Lyne Park Rose Bay, near where they were having Friday lunch at the upmarket seafood restaurant Catalina. “Nature is so beautiful, it’s so good for the soul,” she said as she took in the sights and sounds of the park between puffs on her cigarette. But their daring expedition was not without challenges. A gentle breeze forced her to make several attempts at lighting her cigarette,…
Read More‘THE BAY BOYS’ Police warning of a ‘Bra Boys’ style gang now operating in Double Bay
ESHAY BAH: Double Bay’s tranquil streets are being threatened by a new gang dubbed ‘The Bay Boys,’ who appear to be based on Maroubra’s infamous ‘Bra Boys’. “The Bay Boys are flourishing in and around Double Bay,” says Chief Inspector Angus Watt. “They’re often located in Kiaora Place near Bake Bar.” But unlike their rough-and-tumble Maroubra counterparts, The Bay Boys wear puffer jackets and tend not to use physical violence. “Instead they’re lodging complaints with the local council and using their white collar network to gain perks and special access,” says Inspector Watt. Several Bay Boys members have been cautioned by…
Read MoreMan’s ‘throwback’ Insta post from Mykonos 2015, outperforming posts by his friends currently in Mykonos
WAY BACK WHEN: A local man has had a surprisingly warm reception to his ‘Throwback Thursday’ Instagram post. Seizing on the opportunity of today being Thursday, 35 year old Mark Taverner shared a photo of himself in Mykonos from eight years ago. “I’m really happy for all my friends currently in Mykonos,” he told DBT in a phone interview from his Bondi apartment. “I just thought it would be a good time to dig up the old photo of me in the same place they are all in now.” The photo – which shows Mark Taverner looking significantly thinner than…
Read MoreVaucluse mum starter pack: All the essential items
THE BASICS: If you’re a new mother who has lived in Vaucluse for a while, or a mum who has recently moved from elsewhere, this starter kit is for you. To get underway, a puffer jacket is an obvious and must-have item for grocery shopping or for coffee with friends. Also a priority, keeping your baby safe, something that is not possible without a pram worth $2,000.00. Wear massive sunglasses for that eastern suburbs look, but feel free to take them off every once in a while to flaunt your tattoo eyebrows. Round out your appearance with a visit to…
Read More‘Business coach’ recording selfie video while driving, too busy to film it at any other time
DRIVING FORCE: A self-described Melbourne ‘business coach’ is using a camera mounted to his dashboard to film selfie videos while driving, in a desperate bid to seem busy. “I just thought I’d jump on here quickly,” Peter Marlah says at the start of each of his videos, before sharing generic & obvious thoughts about goal setting and leadership. He then posts the videos to his socials. “I watched the latest video closely,” says one eagle-eyed viewer. “He drove around the same few streets 3 or 4 times. He was literally going round in circles.” Motor safety experts warn…
Read MoreMan suffers panic attack after showing photo on phone to mum, who began swiping to other photos
He took back the phone quickly and paramedics are on the scene. ONE FOUL SWIPE: Paramedics rushed to a home in Sydney’s inner west today after a man suffered a mild panic attack when he briefly gave his phone to his mother. Mark Lee wanted to show her a photo in his camera roll, but when she started swiping through other photos the 21 year old began sweating and had difficulty breathing. “I wanted to show you one photo, not my entire personal life,” he reportedly shouted at his mother. “He took the phone back quickly and aggressively,” says his…
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