Posts by DBT
Local Woman Who Spent $5k On Prada Bag, Still Bitter About Having To Pay 15c For A Coles Bag
CHECKED OUT: A Sydney woman who recently splashed out $5k on a handbag is still protesting increased costs at the supermarket checkout, after forgetting to bring a reusable bag. “Coles and Woolworths are highly profitable businesses,” says Tanya Fazekas. “They certainly don’t need to be ripping us off even further on plastic bags.” Our reporters reminded the 31 year old that the 15c price for bags is an environmental initiative, aimed at encouraging shoppers to bring reusable bags to the supermarket. “Oh whatever,” she says. “I’m not going to carry empty plastic bags around with me like a fucking bag…
Read MoreBikie Boss Forced To Resign Over Undisclosed Relationship With A Politician
END OF THE ROAD: A prominent bikie boss is being accused of dropping his moral standards after it was revealed he ‘secretly dated’ Greens deputy leader Lidia Thorpe. Dean Martin’s 25 year association with the Rebels outlaw motorcycle gang has come to a dramatic end today, after the revelations were made public. “I can’t believe he would stoop that low,” said one bikie. “I mean, we get up to some pretty nasty shit, but a politician? Seriously? wow.” Dean Martin isn’t returning DBT’s calls, but in a statement he says: “Sorry to those who I have let down in dating…
Read MoreWearing Activewear Can Save Up to 13 Seconds Off Supermarket Visits: Report
HIGH PERFORMANCE SHOPPING: Busy mum Alana Lorenz has recently begun doing her grocery shopping in lycra leggings and a singlet crop top. “It really helps save time,” she says. “My speed in and around the supermarket aisles has improved dramatically.” “Plus, for some reason, people seem more likely to let me jump ahead of them in the check out queue.” Her experience is backed up by new research showing that wearing activewear can reduce supermarket visits by up to 13 seconds. “Our research shows shoppers in activewear are considerably more aerodynamic,” says Jason Bresic from the Institute of Human Movement.…
Read MoreNedd Brockmann Forced To Do Another Charity Run After Finding Out The Cost Of His Bondi Hotel Room
BILLS TO PAY: Certified legend Nedd Brockmann has laced up his runners unexpectedly for the 47th consecutive day. After a gruelling 46 day trip on foot from Perth to Bondi, the 23 year runner had a rude awakening today, learning that his Bondi hotel is charging him $510 per night. “Strewth, I heard Bondi was expensive, but I wasn’t expecting this,” he told DBT. “I was thinking more like $150 a night.” Despite suffering severe fatigue and a range of running related injuries, the electrician is about to begin a new charity run to raise money for his accommodation bill.…
Read MoreWARNING: Boomer On The Loose, Attempting Small Talk With Strangers About The Rain
GOOD CHAT: Sydney-siders are being advised to avoid a retiree who is allegedly walking around trying to engage strangers in conversation about the rain. “The woman is described as friendly, with brown hair and probably around 60 years old,” says Inspector Lyle Cummings from NSW Police. Witnesses say she’s approaching people and saying, ‘enough rain for you lately? Apparently it’s La Nina.’ “Yes, it’s raining, everyone knows that!” one man told DBT. “Maybe she could try to start conversations in a more original way? Or, even better, just stay quiet.” Police say the woman may be lonely or bored, and…
Read MoreSTARTER PACK: How To Be A Real Estate Agent On Luxe Listings Sydney
HOT PROPERTY: It’s the long-term goal of every real estate agent and buyer’s agent around the country: to be featured on Prime Video’s Luxe Listings Sydney. Four of Sydney’s most esteemed agents – Gavin Rubinstein, Simon Cohen, D’Leanne Lewis and Monika Tu – currently have the honour. But, with the 3rd season of Luxe Listings Sydney airing, DBT has released a handy starter kit for those keen to apply. Top agents need to look like they’ve just walked off a catwalk, so designer clothes are crucial, along with a blue steel pout, as Gavin demonstrates in the photo above. And…
Read More‘This Place Is So Boring, I Just Got Back From Burning Man,’ Says Man At The Island
BURNER: A local man who recently returned from Burning Man appears to be having trouble adjusting to life at one of Sydney’s premier party spots. Mark Harris, of Bondi Junction, admits to telling multiple people on The Island yesterday that he was bored, even though it was pumping. “Returning to the default world after Burning Man can be difficult at times. I think maybe I just need some time to decompress.” The 31 year old got back from the 9 day arts event in the Nevada desert four weeks ago. “Burning Man changed me. I’m still working at Office Works…
Read MoreParramatta Eels Announce Its Own Version Of R U OK? Day
NOT OK: After a week of relentless pre-game grand final hype, Eels fans have woken up today to the sobering news that their 36-year premiership drought remains unbroken. “Mentally, it’s a lot to take,” says Parramatta CEO Jim Sarantinos. “Especially when we lost so convincingly to our western Sydney rival Penrith.” The Eels didn’t get a look in last night, going down 28 – 12. “It was hard to watch,” says Sarantinos. “Dreams have been shattered. Parramatta fans are hurting today and that’s why we are announcing that today is R U OK Day.” “Please check up on a Parramatta…
Read MoreTennis Legends Lament Parramatta’s Grand Final Loss
BROKEN EELS: Two of the world’s best tennis players shed a tear last night after watching the Parramatta Eels lose the NRL grand final. “I felt our backline was a bit flatfooted,” says long time Eels fan Roger Federer who recently announced his retirement from tennis. “Plus Gutho just didn’t quite fire up.” Federer invited his tennis rival Rafaell Nadal over last night to watch the Eels get over powered by the Penrith Panthers at Accor Stadium. “I was really hoping the eels would break their 30 year Premiership drought,” Federer told DBT. “Don’t worry Roger you’ll be ok,” said…
Read MoreDiscount Retailer Kmart Releases ‘Influencer’ Costume Set For Halloween
PUBLIC FIGURE: With one month till Halloween, discount retailer Kmart has expanded its costume range so shoppers can dress up as influencers. “It’s a great way for our consumers to feel cool,” says Kmart’s Kyle Marks. “We interviewed thousands of influencers about what should be included in the set and they all said pretty much the same things.” For $70 shoppers around the country can get their hands on a beanie, sleeveless puffer jacket, sunglasses, leggings and a water bottle. “It’s that popular ‘street to gym’ look we’re going for,” says Marks. “Not everyone can be an influencer but at least they…
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