Local man sues Knox Grammar after his son finished year 12 there, but then started shopping at Vinnies Newtown
FALL FROM GRACE: A Mosman businessman has launched legal action against a prestigious upper North Shore private school. Michael Pollard-Asquith is suing Knox Grammar, claiming “educational negligence” after his son, Oliver, completed year 12 last year and since then has become a regular shopper at Vinnies in Newtown. “The school has obviously failed in its duty of care,” Michael Pollard-Asquith told DBT. “I didn’t pay $50,000 a year in tuition fees for Oliver to end up looking like a hipster. It’s an absolute joke.” Mr Pollard-Asquith claims his son’s refusal to wear puffer vests or R.M Williams boots has led…
Read MoreSydney real estate agent stoked to get pole position outside White Rabbit Cafe, so everyone can see what car he’s renting
FERRARI FLEX: A Sydney real estate agent visiting Double Bay has had a stroke of luck while parking his rented Ferrari. Sam Sherman was fortunate enough to jag pole position outside the popular White Rabbit Cafe. “As I reversed parked, I loudly revved my engine unnecessarily a few times just to make sure everyone was looking at me. It was huge.” Almost everyone at the busy cafe was still looking at Sam Sherman as he got out of his car and walked over to a table. “How good is Double Bay,” he told DBT. “Even though I live in Kogarah…
Read More#BREAKING: Fitness First Kings Cross steps in to host Mardi Gras party in its steam room
SWEAT IT OUT: After the shock cancellation of this year’s Mardi Gras party, Fitness First Kings Cross has announced it’ll host an party in its steam room. “When one door closes another opens,” says a Fitness First spokesperson. “Our steam room can accomodate 10 people, so on February 28, we will operate on a one-in-one-out policy starting at 11pm.” A cover charge of $35 is being described by organisers as “the most affordable Mardi Gras party ticket in history.” Attendees are advised to BYO towel and water bottle and to respect the existing steam room etiquette. “I’m pumped,” says party-goer…
Read MoreLocal woman ‘not open’ to making any new friends, unless they’re near the front of the queue at Sundays Bondi
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: After living in Sydney’s east her entire life, Bella Pennington’s social circle is “pretty locked in.” The 31-year-old has previously said she’s not open to any new friendships, but today she’s admitted to an exception. “If they’re near the front of the queue at Sundays Bondi, they’re a very good chance,” she said in an exclusive interview with DBT. “I’ve always believed that true friendships are built on shared experiences.” The popular micro-bakery has customers queueing around the block for cinnamon scrolls and matcha. “I approach people at the front of the line and act like I…
Read MoreSydney mum accused of hijacking son’s ‘first day at school’ photo with her freshly botoxed face
PHOTOBOMB: As the school year gets underway for many students in NSW today, some parents are dropping their children at school for the very first time. It’s typically an emotional experience, and one Sydney mum is making the most of it. Nicki Webb-Jones is accused of using her young son’s first day of school to post a photo of her freshly botoxed face. “She doesn’t care about the first day of school, or her son,” one of her instagram followers told DBT anonymously. It’s understood Nicki Webb-Jones visited the cosmetic clinic last week. “She always posts these kinds of photos…
Read MoreNew report shows 94% of Sydney residents today were either on a boat or at Club Rose Bay
HERD MENTALITY: A comprehensive survey released this evening has confirmed that virtually every Sydney-sider was today either on a boat or at Club Rose Bay, with the remaining 6% stuck in traffic trying to get to one of the two. “The data also shows that 17% of them were wearing white linen shorts,” says report author Michael Yabsley. The study also found several confronting statistics about Sydney’s weekend traffic patterns. “We found a whopping 92.7% of cars on New South Head Road were being driven by people who wished they’d just caught an Uber,” explained traffic analyst Karen Webb-Jones. “For…
Read MoreICE agents now detaining random Minnesota residents to make them watch the new Melania documentary
SCREENING PROCESS: Federal immigration authorities have confirmed a new “temporary holding and cultural awareness initiative” that requires randomly selected Minnesota residents to watch the new Melania Trump documentary. “If they have U.S citizenship, they will be released after they sit through the entire 104-minute documentary,” says an ICE spokesperson. “Most people crack around the 47-minute mark.” The film follows the 20 days leading up to Donald Trump’s return to the White House in January last year. Local resident Jennifer Haaland was detained outside a Target in St. Paul yesterday. “I was just out getting groceries,” she said. “Next thing I…
Read MoreBellevue Hill woman flies to Melbourne for the Australian Open tennis to show off her $975 Zimmermann dress
HOLDING COURT: A Sydney fashion enthusiast says her annual pilgrimage to the Australian Open was “absolutely worth it,” despite watching approximately 11 minutes of actual tennis across three days. “The energy here is just incredible,” Arabella Thornton-Wells told DBT, from her premium courtside seat, which she vacated four times during the first set to take photos in different lighting conditions. The Bellevue Hill resident spent the last month planning her Australian Open experience, including three fitting appointments at Zimmermann’s Paddington store, a spray tan and a two hour visit to her cosmetic injector. “I didn’t get time to check the…
Read More“Cyclists take up so much bloody room!” says owner of Range Rover used once a week to drive 5 minutes to pilates
ROAD RAGE: A Paddington woman who pilots a 5 metre-long and 2 metre-wide luxury SUV through narrow residential streets once a week, is expressing serious concerns about cyclists “hogging the road”. Speaking from the driver’s seat of her Range Rover, Caroline Whitfield-Hayes told DBT she’s “Not anti-cycling.” “But it’s just not safe,” she says. “I think they should stick to the bike track in Centennial Park.” Ms Whitfield-Hayes typically drives five minutes from her home to a reformer pilates class “because it’s uphill on the way back.” Last week she says a cyclist forced her to slam on her brakes,…
Read MoreWestern suburbs man misreads Newtown BBQ crowd by confidently yelling ‘Aussie Aussie Aussie’ but nobody replied ‘oi, oi, oi’
CRICKETS: An Ermington man has been left red faced today after enthusiastically yelling “Aussie Aussie Aussie” at a Newtown backyard BBQ, only to be met with silence. After struggling to manage any lasting conversation with the other guests, Bradley Longmire attempted the chant as “a safe, unifying icebreaker” among the crowd of inner-west creatives. “But they gave me absolutely nothing,” he says. “Not even one ‘oi’. What is happening to this country!?” The host reportedly attempted to defuse the situation by saying: “We don’t really do that chant anymore Bradley. It’s very 2010.” And, Bradley Longmire was left even more…
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