Posts Tagged ‘Staying On’
Australians shocked by reports The Project is set to be axed; “We didn’t realise it was still on,” they say
CANCEL CULTURE: Amid growing rumours The Project is about to be axed by Network TEN, Australians are overwhelmingly responding with the same reaction: “Wait, that’s still on?” Once an iconic mainstay of Australian current affairs television, the show has struggled with low ratings in recent years as viewers shift from free-to-air TV to streaming. Now, the mere whiff of cancellation has generated more buzz than any panel debate in the show’s past decade. Even those who still sometimes watch The Project are expressing relief. “Honestly, now I have the entire hour back to scroll Instagram, and frankly, that’s great news,”…
Read MoreParamount Pictures announces new film ‘Mean Boys,’ starring Donald Trump & Elon Musk
BILLIONAIRE BREAKUP: Paramount Pictures has announced its latest teen comedy, titled Mean Boys, will star Donald Trump and Elon Musk as a pair of ruthlessly popular high-school “royalty.” “Mean Boys is currently in production and expected to be released in September,” says one Paramount executive. ‘It’s about a clash of egos, bound by wealth and power, wrapped in teen-drama splendour.” Paramount has promised “no detail too petty” when dramatising the pair’s social-media face-offs. Some movie buffs are praising the film as a “genius meta‐satire” that exposes billionaire insecurities, while others decry it as an overpriced vanity project.
Read MoreRail unions celebrate reaching new wage deal by taking a well-deserved 2 week strike
DOWN TOOLS: Sydney rail unions have marked the end of a long-running wage dispute with a two-week strike, purely to recuperate from the emotional toll of industrial action. “We’ve been on the front lines of industrial action,” said union spokesperson Mandy Rockeby. “Negotiating pay is exhausting. I need time to heal emotionally.” The union says the two-week break is essential for members to “rest and reflect.” The new wage deal, worth 12% over three years, is being hailed as a win for workers. The NSW Premier – still reeling from the PR loss – is cautiously optimistic. “We hope this…
Read MoreNSW government reinstates Kings Cross lockout laws, to curb large crowds lining up to buy fried chicken
CRACKDOWN: The NSW Government has announced its reviving the notorious Kings Cross lockout laws, this time to break up the queues outside the new Wingstop chicken shop on Darlinghurst Road. “The queue at Wingstop is much longer than any of the queues the big nightclubs used to have,” says NSW Premier Chris Minns. “That’s why we’re reinstating the lockout laws for Kings Cross, to keep the area safe for all.” Police say the opening this week of the U.S. cult restaurant chain is raising the risk of chicken-fuelled violence. Under the reinstated rules, Wingstop must enforce a strict lockout from…
Read MoreThe only fun thing to do in Kings Cross these days is line up to buy fried chicken: Report
PARTY TIME: Long queues to enter nightclubs have been replaced by even longer queues to buy fried chicken, as Kings Cross struggles to recover from Sydney’s debilitating lockout laws. Insane lines built up today as foodies raced to get a taste of cult US restaurant chain Wingstop, which opened its first Australian store in the former party precinct. “I hope they’re not asking for ID,” joked one person in the queue. The scenes are already raising concerns of local residents groups. “If you’re going to congregate on the street like that, please keep the noise down,” says one boomer. The…
Read MorePretending to be a DJ, not actually that cool: Report
DJ DELUSION: Adam Bandt’s turntable tactic to woo young voters has fallen flat with the Greens leader today losing his seat of Melbourne. Six weeks ago the Greens leader hit the decks in Melbourne, but his sick beats didn’t help at the ballot box. “But I thought I looked so cool wearing headphones and my little cap,” Bandt told DBT this morning. Bandt is yet to concede defeat, but either way the Greens are left in disarray after a series of extraordinary setbacks at the election. “Maybe I should have stuck to more traditional tactics, like debating actual policies,” he…
Read MoreSeven Network announce new leaders’ debate, but just with Albo and Dutton guessing prices of things
COME ON DOWN! Just when you thought there were no more leaders’ debates, the Seven Network says another live debate in the works. “The final debate on Thursday night will feature the two leaders guessing the prices of things for 30 minutes,” says one Seven executive. “It’ll be a mix of grocery and other everyday items.” The network is remaining tight-lipped over who will be revealed as the new host, But DBT understands that Larry Emdur has been tapped. It comes after last nights debate when Peter Dutton was caught severely underestimating the cost of a carton of eggs. Insiders…
Read More#BREAKING: Trump offers to drop tariffs on Australian goods if his image is projected onto the Opera House every night for the next 12 months
TRADE TALKS: One of the world’s most famous buildings is at risk of being compromised by the image of the U.S President. Donald Trump wants his headshot projected onto the sails of the Sydney Opera House every night for an entire year, in exchange for dropping tariffs on Australian goods. “This is a fantastic deal for everyone,” says Trump. “It’s time to make the Opera House great again.” Critics say the proposal threatens to undermine the cultural significance of the UNESCO World Heritage site. But some economists the projection strengthen ties with the U.S. and enhance Sydney’s night-time economy. “We…
Read MoreGrowing calls to ban Liberal Party leaders from playing sport to protect the public from physical and emotional harm
BENCHED: After yet another embarrassing sporting disaster, safety experts are now urgently calling for a permanent ban on any future Liberal Party leader participating in sport. “First it was John Howard’s tragic bowling display, then Scott Morrison’s notorious tackle on a small child while playing soccer, and today Peter Dutton kicked a football into a cameraman’s head, ” says safety expert Mark Tanner. “Frankly, it’s become too dangerous. Enough is enough.” The latest incident has triggered a groundswell of public support for the proposed ban, with many voters already traumatised by previous Liberal Party sporting fiascos. “They should stick to…
Read More#BREAKING: Trump reverses controversial tariff on Australian imports, after Albo rang him to say he grew up in public housing
TARIFF TURNAROUND: In an unprecedented diplomatic twist, U.S President Donald Trump has abruptly reversed his decision to impose a 10% tariff on Australian imports. It comes after a heartfelt phone call from Anthony Albanese, reminding him that he was raised in public housing by a single mother. “I had no idea Anthony grew up like that,” Trump explained in a hastily convened press conference. “Public housing? Single mother? Very, very sad. Nobody ever mentioned this before.” Sources confirm Albanese strategically opened the call by referencing his humble beginnings, something he has managed to weave into almost every speech, press conference,…
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