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Rose Bay woman relieved her new $300k Range Rover can easily handle the treacherous 2cm puddles on New South Head Rd
BIG WET: Rose Bay resident Claudia Montgomery-Riley says she feels “a huge sense of relief” after purchasing the latest Range Rover, which she claims is the only vehicle capable of navigating the small puddles currently scattered throughout Sydney's east. “I...
Rail unions celebrate reaching new wage deal by taking a well-deserved 2 week strike
DOWN TOOLS: Sydney rail unions have marked the end of a long-running wage dispute with a two-week strike, purely to recuperate from the emotional toll of industrial action. “We’ve been on the front lines of industrial action,” said union spokesperson...
Unexpected cooler weather gives local finance bro perfect excuse to whip out the puffer vest
VESTED INTEREST: A local finance worker was seen walking around Double Bay in a Moncler puffer vest today, even though it's only March. "Even after a heatwave on Sunday this bloke already has the puffer on, what a muppet," shouted...
“The economy will be completely cashless in 5 years,” claims man who withdraws $350 from the ATM every Friday & Saturday night
WITHDRAWALS: A local crypto enthusiast is echoing predictions that Australia's economy will be cashless by 2027. "Around 92% of all money worldwide is just digital. It's all just code bro,” Richard Thorpe told DBT. "Who even uses cash these days?...
Allegra Spender calls for drivers to be exempt from all traffic & parking laws, as long as they have their hazard lights on and drive a BMW
ELECTION SWEETENER: The election is yet to be called, but Allegra Spender is proposing a bold new policy aimed at shoring up votes in her electorate of Wentworth. The Teal independent is pushing for a groundbreaking new policy, allowing drivers...
Bondi woman calls police after another person turned up to Icebergs in the exact same Camilla kaftan
KAFTAN CATASTROPHE: Bondi Icebergs was gripped in scandal today as two strangers appeared for lunch today wearing an identical Camilla kaftan. "There's literally thousands of Camilla kaftan designs and you had to wear the same one as me!" shouted Bondi...
“I support the social media ban for children, as my son is heavily addicted to TikTok,” says dad with raging $2k per week coke habit
WHAT'S YOUR POISON? A Bondi man who visits the bathroom several times per day without using the toilet is losing patience with his son's social media usage. Peter Durak says his 12 year old son Adam is spending way too...
State government announces new metro line running directly between Rosehill Racecourse and Crown Casino
TWO STOP SHOP: Transport NSW has today announced the latest extension of Sydney's growing Metro network. The state government has unveiled plans to construct a new 2.1 billion dollar metro line between Rosehill Racecourse and Crown Casino. "It's about urban...
Eastern suburbs residents remain blissfully unaware of Sydney’s expanded metro system, as none use public transport
ZERO CARE FACTOR: Thousands poured into the city at 4.30am today to witness the opening of the extended Sydney Metro. But residents in Sydney's east remain apathetic about the $21 billion project, even though it's only a few kilometres from...
Petter Dutton urges son to switch to cheaper, cleaner and more consistent forms of energy
RACK OFF DAD: Peter Dutton is urging his son to embrace "cheaper, cleaner and more consistent forms of energy," following a recent photograph of the son with a clear zip lock bag containing a small amount of a white substance....
