Posts Tagged ‘Sport’
Eastern suburbs man who caught the train to Olympic Park awarded honorary premiership ring
GOING THE DISTANCE: Tamarama property developer Julian Vance-Sutton has been officially recognised as a premiership hero after taking the train to and from Sydney Olympic Park for last night’s NRL Grand Final. “Julian is a true warrior,” an emotional Roosters coach Trent Robinson said today. “Our boys played hard for 80 minutes, but Julian had to stand all the way from Central next to a guy in high-vis. That’s the kind of bravery this club is built on.” The 34-year-old says his ordeal began when his Uber Premium encountered severe gridlock near Central Station. “I thought I was going to…
Read More#BREAKING: West Botany man now referring to the Roosters as ‘we’
EASTERN DISTRIBUTOR: A West Botany man has swiftly jumped onto the Roosters bandwagon, after their 19 – 18 victory over Newcastle in the NRL Grand Final. Mark Higgins, in the white t-shirt, was among the throngs of Roosters fans celebrating loudly inside the Light Brigade Hotel in Paddington. “It was an expensive Uber ride from West Botany to watch the game here tonight, but it was so worth it,” Higgins told DBT. However there’s growing concern that he shouldn’t be calling himself a Rooster’s fan. “He should be going for Souths if anything,” says one irate Roosters fan. But Mark…
Read MoreBanks report surge in $350 ATM withdrawals across Sydney’s eastern suburbs ahead of tomorrow’s NRL Grand Final
CASH FLOW: Australia’s major banks have reported an unusual spike in customers withdrawing exactly $350 across Sydney’s eastern suburbs. ATMs in Double Bay, Bondi Junction, Paddington and Woollahra were among the hardest hit, with several reportedly running out of cash by Saturday lunchtime. “Normally people withdraw a range of amounts,” says one banking analyst. “But today, everyone seems to need precisely $350.” One local Roosters supporter told DBT the money is for “general Grand Final expenses” and declined to elaborate further. Banks are restocking machines tonight ahead of another expected surge in withdrawals immediately after the final whistle.
Read MoreSydney Roosters demanding the NRL Grand Final be moved to Allianz Stadium, warning that their fans won’t travel to Olympic Park
COMFORT ZONE: Hundreds of Sydney Roosters fans have gathered to protest outside Allianz Stadium this afternoon. They’re demanding the NRL relocate this Sunday’s Grand Final from Accor Stadium in Olympic Park to Allianz Stadium at Moore Park. “Our members have made it clear,” says a club spokesperson. “They simply wont travel to Olympic Park. Most of them have never even heard of it.” It comes despite Accor Stadium only being a 25 minute drive from Bondi, with comprehensive public transport options available. “I looked up Accor Stadium on Google Maps, and it’s basically in the outback,” one protester told DBT.…
Read MoreRebel Sport quietly begins moving Socceroos merchandise into its clearance section
OFFSIDE: In scenes described by witnesses as “sombre” and “a bit awkward,” staff at Rebel Sport stores around the nation were seen this morning relocating Socceroos jerseys, scarves and other merch into a clearance section only a few hours after the team’s World Cup exit. Socceroos jerseys which were on sale for $130 yesterday are now available for $21.50. “We need the space for Penrith Panthers beanies, Origin gear and about 400 Roosters polo shirts nobody has bought since 2018,” admitted one Rebel staff member. At time of publication, the stores had placed handwritten signs beside the merchandise reading: “Perfect…
Read More“Yes, we won!” shouts former private school boy who used to bash anyone who played soccer
CHANGE OF HEART: A former Scots College Rugby stalwart is today jumping on the soccer bandwagon after the Socceroos victory against Turkey. “How good are the Socceroos!?” shouted Miles McKenzie-Wright, as he watched this afternoon’s game. “Great start to the World Cup! I’m amped. I’m so proud of our boys.” But it was a very different story back in his toxic private school boy days when rugby ruled and he’d verbally and physically abuse anyone who played soccer. “He used to call me a wog and a poof and bash me up before throwing me into the bushes in front…
Read MoreSydney man who’s never played contact sport & once pulled a hamstring getting out of an Uber now referring to NSW Blues as “we”
ARMCHAIR ATHLETE: A Dover Heights man who has never played contact sport at any level and required physio after exiting a Toyota Camry in 2019 is taking partial credit for the NSW Blues’ State of Origin victory. “We just wanted it more,” Max Radovski told DBT. “The boys really responded after I yelled ‘hold the line’ at the TV.” The 34 year old accountant was overheard discussing the team’s strategy, injuries, and future prospects as if he had somehow personally contributed to it. “I’m so proud of the boys, we really put in a massive shift last night. How good is…
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