Posts Tagged ‘Weather’
Mosman resident applies for NSW flood relief payment after accidentally stepping in 3mm puddle while wearing her Jimmy Choos
BIG WET: As heavy rain continues to lash Sydney’s coastline, one Mosman woman is pleading for assistance. Outside a cafe on Military Road, mother of two unwittingly Karen Stiller-Smythe stepped in a puddle while wearing her $1400 Jimmy Choo leather sneakers. “The local council is doing nothing to repair potholes in the area, so it’s no wonder these disasters happen.” Ms Stiller-Smythe claims that even after her shoes dried at home, she noticed they’d become slightly discoloured due to the water damage. Citing emotional distress and general inconvenience, she’s applied for the $1000 relief payment given to those affected by…
Read MoreCatching the ferry during a storm now the only vaguely fun thing left to do in Sydney: Report
NANNY STATE: As New South Wales continues to weather relentless storms, Sydney-siders are discovering the city’s last remaining vaguely fun activity. Ferry operators are reporting an unexpected surge in passengers eager to brave the elements. “We just smoked a spliff and got on the Manly Ferry,” one man told DBT. “Honestly it was the best thing that has happened to me since my partying days back in the early 2000’s.” Social media users are seizing the opportunity to document their stormy ferry trips, turning sea-splashed selfies into viral sensations. The NSW Premier is concerned. “We implemented the state’s lockout laws…
Read MoreRose Bay woman relieved her new $300k Range Rover can easily handle the treacherous 2cm puddles on New South Head Rd
BIG WET: Rose Bay resident Claudia Montgomery-Riley says she feels “a huge sense of relief” after purchasing the latest Range Rover, which she claims is the only vehicle capable of navigating the small puddles currently scattered throughout Sydney’s east. “I honestly don’t know how anyone survives in this city without the off-road capabilities of a $350,000 luxury SUV,” she told reporters while slowly edging through a damp patch near Edgecliff. “Lesser cars would have been swept away by now.” Witnesses say the puddle in question on New South Head Rd posed no threat whatsoever to pedestrians, cyclists, or even prams,…
Read MoreMan braving the bitter cold under layers of heavy clothing still very focused on rolling up his chinos to fully expose his ankles
FASHION FIRST: Today’s winter temperatures couldn’t stop one local man from having his ankles fully exposed while walking around the city. 28 year old Max Illich was seen wearing a beanie, a chunky turtleneck sweater and a heavy jacket, but he was resolutely sporting rolled-up chinos that stopped well above his ankles. “It’s just how I roll,” he told DBT, despite the mercury hovering around 12 degrees. “It’s a great way to draw attention to my white sneakers.” “I have left my ankles exposed since about 2018, when it first became fashionable.” Fashion critics applauded Max Illich’s bravery. “Sure, you risk…
Read MoreLocal real estate agent still flaunting heavily branded BMW umbrella, 30 minutes after it stopped raining
BRANDING EXERCISE: A recent run of wet weather in Sydney is being welcomed by local real estate agent Mark Arnold as a chance to use his heavily branded BMW umbrella. But there are reports today that he was still using it more than half an hour after it stopped raining. “Not one other person had their umbrellas up at the time,” one onlooker told DBT. Even as the sun began shining briefly this morning, Mark Arnold was captured by a DBT photographer with his umbrella out while walking through a busy shopping area. Our reporter also spoke to another onlooker…
Read MoreEastern suburbs man goes for drive in wet weather to help try justify $200k Range Rover purchase
WET WEATHER BANDIT: Continued light drizzle in Sydney’s east today is proving no obstacle for Peter Simons. The Double Bay man has embarked on a daring mission, driving his $200,000 Range Rover through waters rising up to 3cm in one area next to an overflowing drain. “I specifically purchased my luxury 4WD for days like this,” he says. “It’s interesting to see how it performs in such treacherous conditions. Scary though!” Witnesses report he slowed down dramatically as he approached a small puddle, causing traffic to momentarily build up behind him. “Safety first,” he says. “These are the moments you…
Read MoreUnexpected cooler weather gives local finance bro perfect excuse to whip out the puffer vest
VESTED INTEREST: A local finance worker was seen walking around Double Bay in a Moncler puffer vest today, even though it’s only March. “Even after a heatwave on Sunday this bloke already has the puffer on, what a muppet,” shouted one onlooker. “Calm down mate, it’s only March,” yelled another bystander. A DBT reporter approached the man in the puffer vest. He fled into a side lane on Knox Street, but our reporter caught up with him on Cross Street. “I haven’t worn my puffer jacket in a few months,” he admitted to DBT. “But I’ve been itching to get…
Read MoreTransport NSW announce new ferry service from Rose Bay to Double Bay, along New South Head Rd
FLOOD RELIEF: Sydney Ferries has today announced a new service to run along New South Head Rd. Transport NSW says there will be six ferries per day starting at The Rose Bay Hotel, and running to The Golden Sheaf Hotel. “With many road services closed or delayed due to flooding, we’re stepping up our ferry services,” says Transport Minister David Elliot. “The new Rose Bay to Double Bay ferry service will take about 10 minutes, depending on weather conditions and traffic.” And, as rain continues, Transport NSW isn’t ruling out opening more ferry services. “The NSW government remains committed to…
Read MoreSydney offices record spike in weather related banter, as it was both ‘sweltering yesterday’ and ‘so stormy,’ today
QUALITY BANTER: Fast changing weather conditions have triggered a wave of generic weather related conversations across Sydney workplaces. Office banter surged this afternoon amid warnings of a thunderstorm and heavy rain. But yesterday, a heatwave sparked warnings of blackouts. “Wow, there are so many things to talk about at the moment,” said one worker this afternoon. “It’s really exciting!” replied another. “What a time to be alive.” But productivity experts are urging people to avoid weather related conversations. “They are unnecessary and boring,” says expert Lyle French. “Everyone knows what the weather is, all you need to do is look…
Read MoreWoolworths introduces $20 entry fee for Sydney stores, as crowds flock to air-conditioned stores
AIR CON: Woolworths shoppers in Sydney are set to pay even more for their groceries today. The supermarket giant has introduced an unprecedented $20 entry fee, as temperatures soar. “We’re expecting much bigger crowds than normal today as shoppers escape the heat in our air conditioned stores,” says a statement from Woolworths. “To prevent the stores from overcrowding, we’re charging a small admission fee.” “At this stage the fee applies for today only, but we’ll see.” Consumers say it amounts to “more price gouging,” amid the ongoing cost of living crisis. “I only came here to buy one bottle of…
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