“I Promise I Have Covid,” Says Ellen, Looking For Excuse To Stop Producing Her Crappy Show

US talk show queen Ellen DeGeneres says she’s contracted Covid-19, forcing a halt in production of her show.

“It’s such a shame,” she tweeted overnight. “Ratings for Ellen are so high at the moment, but I’m left with no choice. I’m going to miss all of you guys.”

But as Ellen goes into isolation, media analysts say there’s a good chance she hasn’t even tested positive for the virus.

“Has anyone actually seen the test results? asks Dave Liberty from Entertainment Tonight. “I think she’s faking it.”

DeGeneres’ diagnosis comes shortly after revelations that her show’s producers were struggling to attract celebrity guests and advertisers after a year of negative headlines.

“Nobody watches Ellen anymore,” says Dave Liberty. “And it’s expensive to produce.”

“No matter how much she dances around like a muppet on set, viewers just don’t want a bar of her after the whole toxic workplace scandal.”

DeGeneres says she expects production of the show to resume in January.

“I very much doubt it,” say insiders. “This is just Ellen’s convenient way of fading into obscurity.”