Centrelink Overwhelmed With Influencers After OnlyFans Banned Porn

DISASTER RELIEF: Long, winding queues are quickly forming outside Centrelink offices around the country today, after OnlyFans announced a plan to ban “sexually explicit” content.

“I’ll be destitute,” one local influencer told DBT. “Selling my porn photos and videos is literally my only source of income.”

The federal government is offering a one-off $1,200 ‘Job Keeper’ payment to anyone who has lost income resulting from the OnlyFans porn ban.

“This disaster relief payment will help ensure these people don’t slip below the poverty line,” says PM Scott Morrison.

“We are stepping in to help get their lives back on track.”

The payment is triggering Centrelink queues which are longer than when the first lockdown hit in March last year.

“I’ve already been waiting for 4 hours,” another influencer told DBT. “I’m not sure I could be bothered waiting anymore.”

“I might bail out and just sell all my old designer handbags on eBay.”