Sydney man now basing his friend choices entirely on who has a boat

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: A local man is staging a dramatic overhaul of his friend groups in a desperate bid to increase the amount of time he spends on boats.

David Hensley always dreamed of being a boat owner, but he’s been forced to settle for the next best thing: friends who are boat owners.

“The cost of living crisis is taking a toll,” admits the Rose Bay man. “But summer is here so why settle for the beach when you can have a day at sea?”

The 31 year old has begun only spending time with people he’d normally avoid.

And his social media has become a tribute to his new nautical lifestyle.

‘Best crew ever,’ he captioned a recent photo of himself on a yacht with a group of nerdy boat owners.

David Hensley has developed a detailed Excel spreadsheet ranking his acquaintances based on boat size and sailing proficiency.

“I’ve always believed that true friendships should be built on shared experiences,” he said.

“Ultimately I’d like to end up on a boat on NYE for the fireworks. We’ll see..”