Northern Beaches Family Begins Attempting To Figure Out Christmas Lunch

As if planning Christmas lunch isn’t political enough at the best of times.

This year a raft of restrictions and a plan to split Sydney into three zones has made Christmas planning a hectic nightmare for many families.

The Johnson family from the southern part of the Northern Beaches has begun attempting to figure out how their day will play out.

Several family members have gathered in front of a chalk board, where they’re using complex mathematical formulas to work out what’s possible, and who will be invited where.

“What about aunt Tom and Judy? Can they come to our place?” asked the young daughter.

“No they are located in the Northern zone and not allowed to leave that area,” the father tried to patiently explain.

“Does that mean I can invite my parents?” chimed in the mother. “They live in Granville.”

“I’m not sure,” replied the father, as his confused parents looked on. “It looks like we already have 10 people coming, unless Peter’s kids are under 12?”

The unwieldy discussion has so far being going for three hours and shows no sign of a conclusion.

“Oh fuck this,” said the father. “I’m not equipped for this level of maths.”

And even if they do come up with a plan, the Premier says the restrictions will be reassessed on Saturday.

“Why don’t we just do our own thing for Christmas lunch?” asked the frustrated father. “I’m keen for Oportos.”

More to come.