All ‘Massage Parlours’ Within 5km Radius Of Parliament House To Re-open

Nationals MP Barnaby Joyce is spearheading a policy initiative to re-open all ‘massage parlours’ within close proximity to parliament house.

“Enough is enough,” says the former deputy PM. “The Covid-19 crisis has been a very stressful time for policy makers. We need relief.”

Massage parlours and other non-essential services have been closed for the last month as part of the federal government’s social distancing laws.

But Barnaby Joyce has convinced the Prime Minister to sign off on new laws allowing parlours within a 5km radius of parliament house to re-open.

“These businesses create a lot of stimulus which will flow through to the broader economy,” says Scott Morrison. “We’re allowing them to re-open from this evening.”

The massage industry is welcoming the news.

“It’s been a very difficult time for our industry,” says Henry Lee, CEO of the ACT Massage Association. “Hopefully this virus will pass soon and we can all have a happy ending.”