Woolworths’ 350 Person HR Department Not Big Enough To Ensure Correct Staff Payments 

Woolworths has announced a planned increase to its human resources department following revelations that almost 6000 of the company’s staff have been underpaid.

“Obviously our 350-person HR department here at Woolworths HQ has dropped the ball,” says Woolies CEO Mike Blythe.

“We need to boost the department to 450 people so that we have enough manpower to ensure all Woolworths staff are paid in line with current award rates.”

The supermarket giant today announced many of its staff have been underpaid by as much as $300 million, over the last decade.

Retail analysts have been left wondering how 350 HR professionals are unable to perform the basic task of making sure staff are being paid correctly.

“Surely these HR workers are quite intelligent and well qualified,” says analyst Tom Sample. “What the fuck do they do all day?”

Perhaps not surprisingly, no HR workers were among those staff who were underpaid.

“We’ll be making sure our HR department spends less time organising wellness seminars and more time paying staff correctly,” says Mike Blythe.

More to come.