NSW workplace productivity falls to record lows, with employees too busy comparing what seats they had at Coldplay

GENERIC BANTER: The NSW Premier has issued a warning tonight, as workplaces across the state report record-low productivity levels this week.

The culprit? Staff are spending large portions of the day comparing and boasting about the seats they had at the recent Coldplay concerts in Sydney.

“I sat in a corporate box,” said one woman, in a desperate attempt to one-up another worker who said he had A section seats.

“The view was phenomenal.” she said. “Chris Martin practically waved at me! Well, in my general direction.”

Her coworkers exchanged weary glances as she showed the same blurry photos she had shared the day before.

“Well, I got tickets in general admission,” said another man.

“It wasn’t a cost thing for me, I just really wanted to feel the full vibe of the show as I’m a Coldplay tragic from way back.”

Some employees took to mapping out the stadium seating chart to pinpoint exactly where their experience ranked among their peers.

In response to the crisis, NSW Premier Chris Minns says he’s considering banning any talk about Coldplay during office hours, as he attempts to steer the state’s economy back on track.