City of Sydney Council releases its official ‘Vivid Survival Pack’ for thousands of visitors forced to go against their will

LIGHT RELIEF: The state government has released its official Vivid Survival Pack, a limited-edition emergency kit designed for the growing number of festival-goers who experience immediate and profound regret upon arriving.

“Vivid Sydney is one of the world’s great light festivals,” says the NSW Premier.

“We want to ensure visitors are fully equipped to enjoy it, or at minimum, survive it.”

The pack includes rugby style headgear to protect precious brain cells when the post drone show crowd crush gets too hectic.

Also included is a distress flare, heat packs for “minor exposure to Circular Quay winds,” an inflatable dingy – allowing users to exit the festival without having to engage in regular public transport, and a granola bar for those who don’t want to spend 40 minutes waiting for overpriced food.

Local man Tom Bradbury-Fyfe was among the first people to purchase the survival pack at Vivid’s opening night last night.

“At Vivid last year I lost my wife near the Opera House, my phone was on 2%, and a child had just stepped on my ankle while holding a glowing sword,” he said.

“This year it was still crowded, cold and annoying, but at least I had piece of mind with my headgear and rubber dingy.”