University of Sydney now offering PhD on ‘How to look busy until your trust fund kicks in’

PERFORMATIVE PRODUCTIVITY: The University of Sydney today unveiled a doctoral program in a new field of study called ‘Neponomics.’

It’s a three year PhD course educating students on how to appear industrious while patiently waiting for generational wealth to bail them out.

“One thing we’ll be teaching is how to take a gap year in Europe, disguised as ‘investment opportunity research,’” says one lecturer.

“Think Prosecco in Tuscany while scribbling notes on ‘market trends.’”

“Another popular technique is to wear a suit out for casual after-work drinks with friends, to make it seem like you actually have a job.”

“And of course we’re encouraging our students to always remain active on LinkedIn.”

Enrolments are already maxed out for the course’s launch at the start of next year.

“Most young people can’t afford to live in Sydney unless they are trust fund recipients, so there is huge interest in this course,” says the uni.