Homeless People Removed From Sydney Streets To Make Way For CEO Winter Sleepout

NSW Police asked homeless people to “move on” last night as ‘CEO Winter Sleepout’ organisers prepared for the event at Balmain’s White Bay Cruise Terminal. The CEO Sleepout is an an annual event where Chief Executives sleep rough for a night to raise money for homelessness. But homeless people in the area were instructed to pack their belongings and relocate to other areas around Sydney. “In the interests of CEO safety, we asked them to move at least two kilometres from where the CEO’s were sleeping last night,” says Senior Constable Ivan Lalic. The controversial move was supported by event…

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Regulators Force ‘The Celebrity Apprentice’ To Be Renamed ‘The Apprentice’

Regulators have ordered the Nine Network to rename its reality TV show ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ After a six year break from Australian TV, the show returned last night, with the ACCC quickly demanding the word ‘Celebrity’ be removed from the show’s title. “We find the word ‘Celebrity’ to be misleading and deceptive,” says the ACCC’s Megan Tilly. The ACCC says 6 out of the show’s 16 cast members’ main claim to fame is appearing on an earlier reality TV show. “That does not make you a celebrity,” says Megan Tilley. “Especially someone like Martha from Married At First Sight.” Regulators say…

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Fears About New A ‘White Power’ Symbol: Putting Ski Racks On Car Months Before Snow Season

Police are expressing grave concern about the use of a new symbol of white supremacy, found to be especially common in Sydney’s east. “An alarming number of drivers have been mounting ski racks since mid-April, even though ski season doesn’t begin till late June,” says Sergeant Ray Sparks. “Covertly gathered police intelligence shows the premature mounting of ski racks is actually dangerous symbol used by white people to express racist sentiments.” The symbol is reportedly being used heavily by alt-right members of Sydney’s east, who could just as easily put their skis in the back of their vehicles. “Even more…

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Bondi Actor Gets Big Break Playing The Waiter On MAFS Who Says ‘Dinner Is Served’

A struggling Bondi actor has landed a role on one of Australia’s highest rating TV shows. Daniel Rocca is appearing on the 8th season of Married At First Sight.. but not as one of the contestants. “I’m the waiter who briefly comes on just before every dinner party and says: ‘Dinner is served.’ The NIDA trained actor, who has also done 4 levels of theatresports at Improv Australia, says the job is harder than it looks. “You have to know the perfect time to say the line, right at the peak of contestant conflict at the pre-dinner drinks,” he says.…

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Darlinghurst Man Claims He’s Recovered From Mardi Gras After Eating Bowl Of Salad

A weary, brain dead Sydney man says he’s now fully recovered from a night of debauchery after deciding to eat salad for lunch today. “It’s really important to load your body with super foods,” says Bryce Fielding. “Also state of mind is crucial. Always remember to stay optimistic, even if your feeling down.” The Darlinghurst ad account executive had no trouble staying optimistic last night, after attending the Mardi Gras at the SCG, followed by an after party which only finished at 2pm. “I got home around 3pm and went straight to my local cafe for a salad.” he says.…

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Israel Folau Spotted At Mardi Gras Recovery Party, After Dancing Through The Morning

Controversial footballer Israel Folau has partied through the night and morning, celebrating the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. The scantily clad 32 year old was photographed dancing at 11.00am at a Mardi Gras recovery party in Surry Hills. “Haha, normally I’d be at for Church right now,” he told a reporter covering the event. “Last night at the SCG was amazing, and this morning is even better!” As reported by DBT yesterday, Folau is trying to win back support from the gay community after his much publicised homophobic Instagram post in 2019. “I really want to resurrect my football…

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Israel Folau Makes Shock Mardi Gras Appearance In Bid To Win Back Support From Gay Community

Controversial cross code footballer Israel Folau is tonight attempting to keep his hopes alive of returning to the NRL. Dressed in a bondage inspired fairy wing costume, the 32 year old has made a shock appearance at tonight’s Mardi Gras parade at the SCG. “I was actually one of the first people here,” Folau told DBT. “To be honest I’m having a mad time.” His contract with the ARU was scrapped in 2019, after his homophobic and much publicised Instagram post. Now he’s desperate to resurrect his career in the NRL, but knows he needs to win back support of…

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Married Couple Finally Start Spending Time Together Again As MAFS Returns

The new series of Married At First Sight is providing some much needed relief for a local married couple. Sydney’s Paul and Jenna Manning say they are finally spending time together again. “We also hung out briefly to watch the MAFS reunion a few weeks ago,” says Paul. “But apart from that, we haven’t spent any quality time together since last year’s MAFS season.” The pair admit to constant fighting over the course of their four years in wedlock, and say the show acts as a form of therapy. “Watching the contestants marriage’s fail dismally makes us feel better about…

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Vaucluse Mum Hijacks Son’s First Day Of School Photo To Flaunt Her Freshly Botoxed Face

As the school year gets underway for many students in NSW today, some parents are dropping their children at school for the very first time. It’s typically an emotional experience, and one Sydney mum is making the most of it. 39 year old Nicki Webb is accused of using her young son’s first day of school to post a photo of her freshly botoxed face. “She doesn’t care about the first day of school, or her son,” one of her facebook friends told DBT anonymously. “That photo is literally all about showing off her forehead.” It’s understood Nicki Webb visited…

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Trump Hires Private Investigator To Find Out What His Friends Are Doing On NYE

With only two weeks until the end of the year, Donald Trump’s New Years Eve plans remain unclear. “I haven’t been invited anywhere,” the outgoing US President admitted to DBT. “I asked my friend Mitch McConnell what he’s doing, but he quickly changed the subject.” So Trump has hired a private investigator to find out what’s happening. The investigator has begun surveillance on several senior Republican officials looking for clues. “Something fishy is going on,” says Trump. “I suspect there is a party happening that my friends haven’t told me about.” “Guest numbers might be limited due to Covid, but…

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