Posts Tagged ‘Sydney summer’

CABANA CULTURE: With spring in the air, and warmer temperatures upon us, DBT has released this timely Sydney summer survival pack. Topping the list is the beach cabana, to be erected now to reserve a Bondi sand patch for November. Locals are also advised to budget for at least two sets of $900 sunglasses, given that each pair lasts an average of three days before being lost. No Sydney summer survival pack would be complete without Ozempic, the must-have item for fast-tracking your beach body. A white linen shirt is also a must for visits to the Sheaf, the beach,…

LEAN & MEAN: Bondi Beach outdoor gym is no longer freely accessible to all members of the public, under new rules announced today by the local council. Before gaining entry, gym goers will be subject to a skinfold caliper test to ensure they have less than 5% body fat. “The gym remains free to use, but only to those who pass the test,” says Bondi Beach stalwart Marcus Moss, who is conducting the tests. “The gym is getting too busy during the summer months and we’re trying to keep the riff raff out.” Critics of the new ‘door policy’ say…

VIP (VERY IMPORTANT PET): One of Sydney’s premier bar and dining venues is taking its first tentative steps toward becoming pet friendly. “We’re now proudly welcoming furry friends into our bar area, but only if they adhere to a strict dress code,” says Bondi Icebergs owner Mark Pongrass. The popular Sydney venue says pets must be wearing a Polo Ralph Lauren shirt to get in. “We want pets in our venue,” says Mark Pongrass. “We just ask they dress appropriately.” He says the Polo pet shirts are currently available at David Jones for $89. “It’s a small price to pay…

NUMBERS GAME: A regular at Bondi’s famous outdoor gym has boldly declared he will only do chin-ups if he has an audience of at least 10 people watching. “It’s been pretty quiet down here so far today unfortunately,” Simon Sandova told DBT, while scanning the area for potential spectators. “Chin-ups are a performance art, and every artist needs an audience.” Witnesses say he’s been trying to attract attention by grunting loudly during his chin-up routine. And he’s set up a small ‘viewing area’ complete with fold-out chairs. Other fitness enthusiasts are not impressed. “He’s a major show pony,” said one…

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: A local man is staging a dramatic overhaul of his friend groups in a desperate bid to increase the amount of time he spends on boats. David Hensley always dreamed of being a boat owner, but he’s been forced to settle for the next best thing: friends who are boat owners. “The cost of living crisis is taking a toll,” admits the Rose Bay man. “But summer is here so why settle for the beach when you can have a day at sea?” The 31 year old has begun only spending time with people he’d normally avoid.…

A BIT RICH: A Sydney man is being accused of intentionally trying to mislead his social media followers. Todd Parkes posted a photo of himself at the helm of a luxury speedboat, with the caption ‘Living The Dream #Winning’ “He asked me to step out of the photo,” claims the boat owner Antony Stanton. “I thought it was a bit weird because it’s my boat. To be honest, he was lucky to be invited.” Soon after Todd Parkes posted the misleading photo, other boat owners came forward with similar complaints against Todd Parkes. “He did the same thing to me,”…