Posts Tagged ‘Sydney summer’
Bondi Beach outdoor gym now rejecting anyone with more than 5% body fat
LEAN & MEAN: Bondi Beach outdoor gym is no longer freely accessible to all members of the public, under new rules announced today by the local council. Before gaining entry, gym goers will be subject to a skinfold caliper test to ensure they have less than 5% body fat. “The gym remains free to use, but only to those who pass the test,” says Bondi Beach stalwart Marcus Moss, who is conducting the tests. “The gym is getting too busy during the summer months and we’re trying to keep the riff raff out.” Critics of the new ‘door policy’ say…
Read MoreWaverley Council installs mirrors on the Bondi to Bronte path, so walkers can check how they’re looking
TIME FOR REFLECTION: The Bondi to Bronte coastal walk in Sydney’s east is well-known as a great place to be seen, now the local council is ensuring walkers can also see themselves. “After much community consultation, we’re pleased to complete the installation of more than 80 full-length mirrors on the 4 kilometre stretch of picturesque coastline,” says Waverley Mayor Rob Draper. The move has left fitness enthusiasts rejoicing. “It’s great because I bump into so many people I know on the path,” says Bondi to Bronte regular Hannah Tunks-Marello. “Before the mirrors, I used to get really insecure about bad…
Read MoreFears raised for eastern suburbs man who went to Brisbane, but isn’t staying at the Calile Hotel
OFF THE GRID: In a move that has sent ripples through Sydney’s east, a Rose Bay man has chosen to not stay at the prestigious Calile Hotel during his trip to Brisbane. A short time ago Chris Maddison posted a photo of himself poolside at a lesser-known boutique hotel, causing a stir among his followers. “Chris is actually known for his impeccable taste and his adherence to social norms,” one of his friends told DBT. “Maybe he’s going off the grid, or adopting a minimalist lifestyle.” Others speculate the 34 year old may be in some sort of financial trouble.…
Read More“My good friend Tom dropped me off here on his boat,” claims woman who actually got the ferry from Circular Quay
HELLO SAILOR: A Sydney woman is being called out for lying to friends about how she got to Double Bay. “My friend Tom is so nice to me, he just dropped me off his boat at the beach nearby,” claimed Fiona Murray as she arrived at Double Bay. “It’s so good to have friends with boats,” she says. But several witnesses say they saw the 27 year old arrive today on the 1.30pm Sydney Ferry service from Manly, via Circular Quay. DBT has reached out to interview Ms Murray, but she’s yet to respond. Her instagram shows a photo of…
Read MoreBondi Icebergs now allowing in pets, as long as they’re wearing a Polo Ralph Lauren shirt
VIP (VERY IMPORTANT PET): One of Sydney’s premier bar and dining venues is taking its first tentative steps toward becoming pet friendly. “We’re now proudly welcoming furry friends into our bar area, but only if they adhere to a strict dress code,” says Bondi Icebergs owner Mark Pongrass. The popular Sydney venue says pets must be wearing a Polo Ralph Lauren shirt to get in. “We want pets in our venue,” says Mark Pongrass. “We just ask they dress appropriately.” He says the Polo pet shirts are currently available at David Jones for $89. “It’s a small price to pay…
Read MoreMan at Bondi outdoor gym refusing to do chin-ups unless there’s at least 10 people watching him
NUMBERS GAME: A regular at Bondi’s famous outdoor gym has boldly declared he will only do chin-ups if he has an audience of at least 10 people watching. “It’s been pretty quiet down here so far today unfortunately,” Simon Sandova told DBT, while scanning the area for potential spectators. “Chin-ups are a performance art, and every artist needs an audience.” Witnesses say he’s been trying to attract attention by grunting loudly during his chin-up routine. And he’s set up a small ‘viewing area’ complete with fold-out chairs. Other fitness enthusiasts are not impressed. “He’s a major show pony,” said one…
Read MoreBondi man on holiday in Byron Bay, complaining about how many Bondi people are there now
SUMMER GETAWAY: A Bondi man says his holiday to tourist hot spot Byron Bay is being overrun by ‘absolute blow-ins’ from Bondi. “I’m so sick of all these muppets,” says Craig Hawke. “There are yoga instructors, digital nomads, and fashion influencers from Bondi at every turn.” “They’re all so un-chilled, they just walk around all day taking selfies for Instagram and hoping to see Chris Hemsworth.” Craig Hawk says he travelled to the former alternative getaway for some ‘spiritual enlightenment,’ and for a short break from Sydney’s pretentious scene. “But now I’m completely surrounded by it,” he says. “I may…
Read MoreSydney man refusing to leave his Noosa hotel room, as there are way too many people he knows at the pool
SELF-IMPOSED EXILE: It was meant to be a relaxing family holiday in Queensland, but it’s quickly turned into a nightmare for one 28 year old Bondi man. Dan Haber is staying at the Noosa Sofitel with his parents and brother, but it’s already day two of the trip and he’s yet to leave the room. “There’s way too many people I know here,” he told DBT in an exclusive phone interview. “I can see them all at the pool from my window. Down there it’s like Hall street Bondi on a sunny weekend, except worse.” DBT understands Dan Haber’s parents…
Read MoreSydney man now basing his friend choices entirely on who has a boat
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: A local man is staging a dramatic overhaul of his friend groups in a desperate bid to increase the amount of time he spends on boats. David Hensley always dreamed of being a boat owner, but he’s been forced to settle for the next best thing: friends who are boat owners. “The cost of living crisis is taking a toll,” admits the Rose Bay man. “But summer is here so why settle for the beach when you can have a day at sea?” The 31 year old has begun only spending time with people he’d normally avoid.…
Read MoreMan on friend’s boat posts photo to make it appear like he might be the boat’s owner
A BIT RICH: A Sydney man is being accused of intentionally trying to mislead his social media followers. Todd Parkes posted a photo of himself at the helm of a luxury speedboat, with the caption ‘Living The Dream #Winning’ “He asked me to step out of the photo,” claims the boat owner Antony Stanton. “I thought it was a bit weird because it’s my boat. To be honest, he was lucky to be invited.” Soon after Todd Parkes posted the misleading photo, other boat owners came forward with similar complaints against Todd Parkes. “He did the same thing to me,”…
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