Posts Tagged ‘Already Maybe’

STAND OFF: A once thriving WhatsApp bucks party group chat has suddenly fallen quiet. Less than two weeks from the planned party, the group chat has stalled after someone asked ‘who’s bringing the Molly’? “It’s the million dollar question,” says bucks organising committee member Dan Horsham. “Nobody wants to be responsible for buying or bringing the drugs.” As the big day draws closer, there are growing fears that alcohol may be the only drug on offer at the party. “Talks have broken down,” says Mr Horsham. “There’s been no activity in the group chat for four days.” DBT understands some…

QUID PRO QUO: After weeks of negotiation, Julie Duleil and Simone Dias have come to an in principle agreement to always like each other’s instagram posts. “It’s nice to know I can post absolute garbage and still get some level of support,” says Julia (left). After going through a recent relationship breakdown Julia has been regularly posting inspirational quotes and photos of her coffee.” “At least I know, I’ll always get at least 1 like,” she says. “It takes the risk out a little bit.” And, as a career woman, Simone Dias is known for her ‘humble brag’ posts about…

SAFE SPACE: A local woman is taking drastic action to reduce the anxiety she feels after checking her Instagram feed. “I’ve looked through all my followers and unfollowed – or muted – any of them who are hotter or wealthier than I am,” says Elle Brock. “It’s just so much easier this way.” The 32 year old claims most of the people she previously followed on Instagram are successful in life simply because “they got lucky.” “They were just in the right place at the right time,” she says. “I’m so sick of seeing their humble brag posts about their…

BURDEN TO CARRY: For the last three years Andrew Prasad has enjoyed keeping his keys, asthma spray and other assorted items in his wife’s handbag. But after separating from her last week, the 31 year old has been left devastated. “Break-ups are never easy,” he says. “There’s obviously going to be an adjustment period. I might even have to buy a bum bag.” In the meantime, he’s been forced to join his single friends who don’t have access to a handbag to keep their belongings in. “I don’t know how other single people do it,” he says. “My pockets are…

CRYPTO CREW: A Sydney cryptocurrency enthusiast has announced a new plan to only spend time with people who are also heavily invested in digital currencies. “Time is money,” says James Tyler. “And the crypto market is open 24/7 so I don’t have time to sit around talking about bullshit things.” With a crypto portfolio currently worth $127k, Mr Tyler says he’s now only socialising with people who have portfolios above $100k. “We’re exchanging trading information and tips around the clock,” he says. “Socialising with anyone who isn’t heavily invested comes with a huge opportunity cost.” Some of James Tyler’s oldest…

STILL IN TOUCH: Two local men say their friendship is as strong as ever, even though they’ve barely spoken since 2015. “I don’t think people need to talk or see each other in person to have thriving friendships,” says Tom Bushnell. “But liking each other’s Instagram posts definitely helps.” The pair finished school together 10 years ago. “We’ve always had a level of mutual respect,” says James Meier. “Even though we rarely see each other, I know we are in a good place.” James Meier estimates that Tom Bushnell likes or comments “around 80%” of his posts. “To me it’s…