Posts Tagged ‘Already Maybe’
Man’s Entire ‘Business’ Revealed As Just Him Posting Selfie Videos To Social Media
A Sydney man is accused of posting excessive selfie photos and videos under the guise of running a ‘marketing business.’ Mark Henson started his ‘business’ in August last year, but the exact nature of his work remains unclear. “I’m exploring a number of opportunities at the moment,” he says. In daily selfie videos posted to LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, he regularly talks about ’empowerment’ and ‘leadership.’ “I also plan to start doing more Facebook live videos,” he told DBT. “It’s all about engagement.” In the meantime, he’s updated his LinkedIn bio to say he’s a Coach | Facilitator |…
Read MoreFacebook Launches Inquiry Into Why So Many Boomers Think Satire Is Real
Facebook’s CEO says he’s ‘concerned’ about the growing incidence of baby boomers interpreting satire news as factual information. “Misinformation on the internet is a problem,” says Mark Zuckerberg. “But we want to show people over 55 years old that satire is not misinformation, nor is it fake news. It’s a joke.” Zuckerberg has launched an inquiry into why so many boomers fall hook, line and sinker for satire news stories which are so obviously a joke to everyone else. “It seems many seniors still think anything they read which isn’t in handwriting must be factual,” says Zuckerberg. “We want to…
Read More32 Year Old Makes Appointment With Therapist After Bottle Shop Worker Didn’t Ask Her For ID
The Easter long weekend has ended in heartbreak for one Rose Bay Woman. 32 year old Peta Holby was asked for ID as she purchased some alcohol at Dan Murphy’s a short time ago. “I was devastated,” she told DBT. “As I left the store I noticed the bottle shop worker didn’t ask the woman in the queue behind for ID me and she looked about 40!” The incident comes only two weeks after Ms Holby’s latest round of dermal fillers and anti-wrinkle injections. “Those injections are clearly not doing their job,” she says. “At some stage I’m just going…
Read MoreWoman’s Facebook Friend Cull Goes Unnoticed, As Everyone Had Already Unfollowed Her
An Adelaide woman has been left shattered after her bid for attention on Facebook failed dismally. Vivian Clearly’s Facebook friend cull last week went completely unnoticed, even among those who survived it. “After my cull, I did a status update saying; ‘If you’re seeing this you survived!’” the 29 year old DBT. “But nobody liked it, or commented on it.” “I’ve also seen heaps of people who I deleted and none of them even seemed to notice.” A team of Double Bay Today reporters contacted dozens of Vivian Cleary’s current and former Facebook friends for interviews. All of them said…
Read MorePoint Piper Man Blames His Shocking Golf Score On Heavily Fluctuating Crypto Prices
Wildly fluctuating cryptocurrency prices are being blamed for a blowout at Moore Park golf course today. With a handicap of +10, Bryce Jones finished his round 23 strokes over par today. “He spent most of his round looking at his phone,” says one of his playing partners. “He was checking the cyrpto prices after literally every one of his shots.” It’s understood on the par 4 third hole, the Point Piper man sprayed his second shot into the bunker after the price Bitcoin dropped 3%. “From there he was unconsolable,” says his friend. “Although it was hard to tell what…
Read MoreLocal Personal Trainer Now A ‘Growth Marketing Expert’ After Boosting A Selfie On Facebook
A Bondi personal trainer has made a mysterious transition into being a ‘Growth marketing expert’ after boosting a Facebook post. Despite having no qualifications except a Certificate IV in Fitness, Peter Gibbs is now offering advice on maximising profit. “I’m showing businesses how to attract and engage new customers,” he says. “It’s all about leveraging digital platforms.” The 31 year old’s sponsored post, features a selfie, and claims he can help businesses with ‘customer acquisition,’ ‘growth hacking’ and ‘result evaluation.’ “Once I learnt how to boost posts on Facebook, I felt the need to share my knowledge with others,” he says.…
Read MoreEastern Suburbs Cafe Begins Selling Lines Of Coffee Powder
Coffee culture has taken a potentially dangerous step closer to illicit drug use, as a Bondi cafe begins selling lines of coffee. “We are combining two of Sydney’s favourite activities into one fun and energising experience,” says Jimmy Dillon, the owner of Cafe Haus on Curlewis St, Bondi. The coffee lines – listed on the menu as ‘The Bondi Espresso’ – are on sale for $5 dollars each. “I’ve actually had three lines so far today,” one customer told DBT. “It’s a great little pick-me-up and obviously much cheaper than cocaine.” The cafe owner claims there’s no reason why coffee…
Read MoreChemist Warehouse Launches Face Mask Promotion Ahead Of Valentines Day
Australia’s largest pharmacy chain Chemist Warehouse is offering two face masks for the price of one, for the next seven days in the lead up to Valentines Day. “Valentines Day is a loving and physically affectionate time,” says Chemist Warehouse CEO Jim Riley. “We want to help Australian couples make sure it’s also a safe and healthy time.” Coronavirus fears have seen the demand – and prices – for face masks surge over the last year. Demand for the masks was already at an unprecedented high at the end of 2019 thanks to Australia’s ongoing bushfire crisis. “There has been…
Read MoreSydney Men Join #MeToo Movement To Protest Non-Consensual Cuddling After Sex
A group of disgruntled Sydney men have joined the #MeToo movement. They’re taking a stand against their partners, who are allegedly forcing them into cuddling after sex. “Enough is enough,” says group leader Tom Issacs. “Just because we’ve had sex, it doesn’t automatically mean I’m up for cuddling.” The men say they feel coerced into doing things they’re not comfortable with and they’re urging others to come forward. “You don’t have to hug your wife or girlfriend after sex if you don’t want to,” says Tom Issacs. “It’s warm, you’re tired, you just want to sleep. They need to stop…
Read MoreUber Launches New Dating App For Single Drivers and Passengers
Ride share company Uber is diversifying into the lucrative dating industry. Uber has launched a new app called Uber Single, exclusively for single drivers and passengers. “It’s very similar to regular Uber, but for single people only,” says Uber’s CEO Honi Ondieke. “Passengers can select drivers they find attractive, and vice versa.” Uber Single also has a rating system, allowing drivers and passengers to rate each other. “I’ve got high standards,” says Uber Single driver Andrew Hindmarsh. “I won’t pick up anything less than a 4.8, unless I’m really strapped for cash.” The app also has an ‘Uber Single Pool’…
Read More