Posts Tagged ‘Already Maybe’
#BREAKING: DNA Testing Reveals John Howard Is Dominic Perrottet’s Father
RUNNING IN THE FAMILY: The former Australian PM John Howard & NSW Premier Dominic Perrottet both say they’re “overwhelmed and excited” to learn they are father and son. “It’s massive news,” says Perrottet. “I’ve always admired John’s brand of politics, and now I know why!” The discovery comes after Mr Perrottet took a DNA test with Ancestry.com. “I was adopted at birth, so it’s great to learn who my biological parents are,” he told DBT. “Now I’m even more focused on one day becoming Prime Minister like dad.” They pair say they’re looking forward to getting to know each other…
Read MoreOld Friendship Now Consists Solely Of Tagging Each Other In Memes
Two local men say their friendship is as strong as ever, even though they haven’t spoken in six years. Old mates Harry Rollo and Phil Shoebridge say their friendship now consists entirely of tagging each other in memes on Facebook and Instagram. “One of us will tag the other and there might be a few follow up comments between us also,” says Harry Rollo. “It works well.” The pair finished school together ten years ago. They refute claims their friendship is not as strong as it was when they would also call, text and even see each other face to…
Read MoreFragile Marriage Restored After Husband Writes Glowing Tribute To Wife.. And Posts It On Facebook
GETTING GRIEF: Ron Ferver has survived yet another potentially marriage crippling argument with his wife Melissa. It’s understood their 3 hour screaming match finally came to an end last night when Ron agreed to post a loving tribute to his wife in the form of a Facebook status update. ‘Melissa, you are my Angel,” he wrote. “My light, my love, my everything.’ “She made me do it,” Ron Ferver admitted to DBT. “It was 100% a set piece. She even wrote it and emailed it to me. I literally copied, pasted and posted it.” Melissa Ferver confirmed to our reporters…
Read MoreAlbo Goes On ‘The Voice,’ Just So He Can Tell His Backstory About Growing Up In Public Housing Again
WORKING CLASS MAN: The opposition leader has made an eleventh-hour pitch to voters ahead of Saturday’s federal election. Anthony Albanese appeared on last night’s episode of The Voice, performing a heart-wrenching rendition of Jimmy Barnes’ Working Class Man. Before his performance, the Labor leader once again shared his backstory about growing up in council housing in Sydney’s inner west. “My upbringing wasn’t easy,” he told the coaches. “A lot was uncertain, but my mum was determined that my life would be better than hers.” The story drew an emotional reaction from coach Rita Ora who was in tears throughout Albanese’s…
Read MoreWoman Promotes Boyfriend To Appear On Her Instagram Grid, After Months Of Stories Only
HARD LAUNCH: It’s the unwritten rule of relationship progression, the occasional Instagram story cameo, before eventually posting a photo of your partner on the grid. One Melbourne woman has taken the plunge tonight, hard launching her new boyfriend, Tom in a photo. “We’ve already been together for 3 months, so it was a bit weird not having him on my grid in any way shape or form,” Sophie Adam told DBT. “I first appeared on his grid a few weeks ago.” Ms Adam says for the first time in her relationship history she’s feeling “really comfortable” with her partner. “Hopefully…
Read MoreMan Updates His LinkedIn Bio To Include ‘Speaker,’ After Getting A Job In Telemarketing
ALL TALK: A local call centre worker has been accused of severely exaggerating his job description. Last week Tristan Micallef started a new job taking inbound customer service calls at Telstra. His only previous job was a furniture salesman. But the 25 year old’s LinkedIn profile tells a completely different story. It says he’s a: Client Solutions Manager | Communications Industry Thought Leader | Speaker | Coach & Mentor. “There is nothing wrong with Tristan’s job,” says colleague Martin Causley, who alerted DBT to the alleged breach. “But his LinkedIn profile suggests he’s going to be the next Anthony Robbins…
Read MoreVOTE BUYING: PM Passes New Laws Allowing 4WD’s To Park In Eastern Suburbs Loading Zones
ELECTION SWEETENER: Drivers of four-wheel drives and other off road vehicles in Sydney’s east will be allowed to park in loading zones, under new laws passed last week. “The federal government is committed to making life easier for owners of these vehicles,” says Prime Minister Scott Morrison. “Range Rovers and Land Cruisers are expensive, so we want to make sure these motorists are not subject to hefty parking fines as well.” The new rules come just months out from the federal election, as the coalition attempts to shore up votes in Wentworth, traditionally a safe Liberal seat. Eastern suburbs 4WD…
Read MoreLocal 58 Year Old Man Now Finally Confident Using The Supermarket Self-Checkout
CHECKED OUT: The transition to supermarket self-checkout has happened a little slower for some. Wherever possible, 58 year old Harvey Walker still uses checkout operators to scan his groceries for him. “Or if the supermarket only has self-checkout, I have to do my shopping at the local convenience store instead.” However, over the last few months, rising grocery prices have forced Mr Walker back into the supermarket. And there’s already been several occasions where he’s had no choice but to use the self-checkout terminals. “It’s been a journey,” he admits. “Scanning fruit and veg is particularly confusing.” “And normally the…
Read MoreBucks Party Group Chat Falls Silent After Someone Asks ‘Who’s Bringing The Molly?’
STAND OFF: A once thriving WhatsApp bucks party group chat has suddenly fallen quiet. Less than two weeks from the planned party, the group chat has stalled after someone asked ‘who’s bringing the Molly’? “It’s the million dollar question,” says bucks organising committee member Dan Horsham. “Nobody wants to be responsible for buying or bringing the drugs.” As the big day draws closer, there are growing fears that alcohol may be the only drug on offer at the party. “Talks have broken down,” says Mr Horsham. “There’s been no activity in the group chat for four days.” DBT understands some…
Read MoreFriends Strike Agreement To Always Like Each Other’s Instagram Posts, Even If They’re Lame
QUID PRO QUO: After weeks of negotiation, Julie Duleil and Simone Dias have come to an in principle agreement to always like each other’s instagram posts. “It’s nice to know I can post absolute garbage and still get some level of support,” says Julia (left). After going through a recent relationship breakdown Julia has been regularly posting inspirational quotes and photos of her coffee.” “At least I know, I’ll always get at least 1 like,” she says. “It takes the risk out a little bit.” And, as a career woman, Simone Dias is known for her ‘humble brag’ posts about…
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