PM announces Australia’s terror threat raised to ‘probable,’ as average wait times at Yo Chi Surry Hills pass 30 minutes

CHILLING THREAT: Australia’s terror threat has been raised from “possible to probable” today, amid growing frustrations over wait times at a popular Sydney frozen yoghurt shop.

“The threat is volatile and unpredictable,” warned Anthony Albanese.

“This isn’t just about frozen yogurt. It’s about the very fabric of our society.”

The drastic action to raise the terror threat comes in response to the spiralling crisis at Yo Chi in Surry Hills, where the average wait time for a serving of frozen yogurt now exceeds a harrowing 30 minutes.

Local authorities are struggling to manage the snaking queues, which are seeing otherwise mild-mannered Sydneysiders pushed to the brink.

“I’m so over this,” one man waiting in the queue told DBT. “I just want from fucking fro yo.”

In response to the crisis, the government has unveiled a multi-point plan, including fast-track lanes for customers who take less than one minute to choose their yoghurt and toppings.

A task force has also been deployed to explore the feasibility of airlifting frozen yoghurt supplies directly to those most in need.

“Be alert, not alarmed,” says the PM. “And if you’re in the queue at Yo Chi, please be patient.”