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NSW Premier announces tough new laws banning Bondi Junction residents from saying they live in ‘Bondi’

WORLD’S APART: The NSW Premier is taking some much needed action to restore geographical truth and social order in Sydney’s eastern suburbs.

Chris Minns has unveiled strict new legislation banning Bondi Junction residents from claiming they live in “Bondi.”

“Enough is enough,” he said at a press conference a short time ago.

“Bondi Junction residents live near a train station and a shopping mall, not the ocean.”

“They’re 2.3 kilometres and a steep hill away from any sand, so they shouldn’t be able to adopt surf culture.”

The ‘Truth in Postcode Representation Act’ will impose tough penalties, including $1,500 on-the-spot fines for any Bondi Junction residents caught saying they live in Bondi.

“They can also be fined for saying they live “just up the hill from the beach,” says Chris Minns.

Under the new laws, repeat offenders may also be forced to carry a lanyard reading “I live in Bondi Junction” when in Bondi.

Bondi residents who spoke to DBT say they welcome the crackdown.

However Bondi Junction man Marc Coulman says it’s a huge overreaction.

“Oh whatever, ‘Bondi’ & ‘Bondi Junction’ are basically the same things,” he claims.

“The ‘Junction’ part is neither here nor there. Besides, I’m always at Bondi Beach on the weekends.”

But does he feel guilty for lying about where he actually lives?

“No, not at all. I grew up in Penrith. Anything east of Marrickville is a huge result for me.”

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