A new report shows Indigenous Australians are completely ambivalent about the brand names of grocery items.
“I literally couldn’t give a fuck,” says indigenous man Lyle Marlee. “I’m more worried about indigenous death in custody, land rights, and indigenous poverty.”
The report, by consumer group Choice, shows 99.6% of Indigenous Australians surveyed ‘strongly don’t care’ about the names of supermarket items.
It follows calls by an attention seeking white comedian to re-name Coon Cheese because the word ‘Coon’ has a history of being used as a racist slur against people with dark skin.
“Coon cheese has nothing to do with dark skin,” says Lyle Marlee. “It’s named after a white bloke with the surname Coon.”
There were also claims this week that the branding of popular cereal Coco Pops is racist because it uses a brown monkey as its mascot.
“Seriously people must have too much time on their hands,” says Lyle Marlee. “I love the Coco Pops monkey, ‘Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy.”
Meanwhile, Indigenous professional boxer and former rugby league footballer Anthony told DBT he has no plans to change his nickname from ‘Choc.’