Disgruntled boyfriends & husbands across Sydney lament the return of Vivid

LIVID: In a collective groan heard across Sydney, boyfriends and husbands citywide are once again preparing themselves for the annual spectacle that is Vivid.

The 23 day festival of light, music and ideas begins tonight, and local man Tom Phipps is among those being forced to go.

“My wife won’t take no for an answer,” he says.

“It’s always such a punish to scramble there after work in the freezing cold and navigate hoards of annoying kids just to see colourful lights. It doesn’t do it for me.”

“I might just watch the footy on my phone the whole time.”

Those sentiments are echoed by Derek Gruber, who has also reluctantly agreed to date night with his girlfriend at Vivid tonight.

“It’s gruelling to be honest,” he told DBT. “Each year she insists on us having our photo taken in front of every fucking installation.”

“I’m going to try to tell her I’m not feeling well this afternoon. I wish I was still single to be honest, then I wouldn’t have to go at all.”

Vivid Sydney 2023 run til June 17.