STUMPED: In a stunning display of selective memory, English cricket fans and players are up in arms today after losing to Australia.
Despite inventing cricket and its myriad of complex rules, England is today shocked and outraged about having to play by these same rules.
“The Australian cricket team are a bunch of cheats,” says one whinging Pom, despite the Aussies simply just playing by the rules invented by England late in the 16th century.
The controversy erupted in the wake of wicket-keeper Jonny Bairstow’s stumping during the latest England vs Australia showdown.
It’s understood the English Cricket Board is now considering re-writing the rules of the game.
“They want to replace the stumping rule with a new rule requiring the fielding team to write a polite note asking the batsman to consider returning to the crease,” says one insider.