#BREAKING: Leaked images show Anika Wells attempting to steal toilet paper from the Parliament House bathrooms

ON THE TAKE: The halls of power were thrown into chaos tonight, with newly leaked photos showing Anika Wells attempting to discreetly smuggle several rolls of toilet paper out of the Parliament House bathrooms.

“I just needed some for the kids,” she said in a hastily arranged press conference.

“Have you seen the price of Quilton lately!?”

It’s a fresh embarrassment for the Sports Minister, but she insists stealing a few rolls of toilet paper is “absolutely within parliamentary guidelines.”

And the Prime Minister is refusing to condemn the act.

“Anika has my full confidence and she’s promised to return all the toilet paper. I mean, return all the unused rolls immediately.”