Posts by DBT
Local Pet Owner Accused Of Prioritising Her Dog’s Instagram Account, Over The Actual Dog
A Sydney woman is accused of neglecting her 2 year old Boston Terrier in favour of the dog’s Instagram account. It’s alleged Alexandra Weir is dressing up her dog, Bobbie, in elaborate costumes, taking copious amounts of photos and then sharing them with the dog’s 3,800 followers. “We’ve been really busy lately,” says the 22 year old dog owner. “The instagram account is really taking off.” But DBT understands that Bobbie is suffering from early stages of malnutrition and hasn’t been walked in 3 days. Animal welfare groups say Instagram dog neglect is a growing problem in Sydney. “Owners are…
Read MoreLocal Boomer Starts Photography Business After Discovering Portrait Mode
What started as a passion project has turned into a proper business, after a 64 year old discovered portrait mode on his mobile phone last week. “Look it’s easy,” Alan Kendall told DBT. “Just select portrait mode, tap on the focal point a few times, and it throws the background out of focus. It looks professional!” The Glebe retiree launched his photography business last week, after his son showed him how to use portrait mode on his iPhone. “I’m available to shoot high quality mobile phone photos at weddings, birthdays and bar-mitzvah’s.” “I enjoy shooting in portrait mode, but I…
Read MoreFears About New A ‘White Power’ Symbol: Putting Ski Racks On Car Months Before Snow Season
Police are expressing grave concern about the use of a new symbol of white supremacy, found to be especially common in Sydney’s east. “An alarming number of drivers have been mounting ski racks since mid-April, even though ski season doesn’t begin till late June,” says Sergeant Ray Sparks. “Covertly gathered police intelligence shows the premature mounting of ski racks is actually dangerous symbol used by white people to express racist sentiments.” The symbol is reportedly being used heavily by alt-right members of Sydney’s east, who could just as easily put their skis in the back of their vehicles. “Even more…
Read MoreDecision Making Process About What To Watch On Netflix Enters Third Hour
After a stressful week of work and social commitments they tried – but failed – to avoid, Sunday night can’t come soon enough for Gaby and Victor Venti. The Bondi Junction couple of 18 months have locked in a ‘Netflix and Chill’ session this evening to relax and unwind. However they’re not finding their time together as relaxing as expected. They cant agree on what to watch on Netflix and have been flicking through all the options for the last two hours. “For fucks sake,” said the Victor Venti. “We could have watched an entire movie by now.” It’s understood…
Read MoreJarryd Hayne Overlooked For Selection For Parklea Prison Rugby League Team
Jarryd Hayne’s bid to revive his rugby league career has been dealt a swift blow after being overlooked for selection in the Parklea Prison team. “Jarryd is a skilled ball handler and kicker, but he’s just not tough enough for prison football,” says Parklea coach Ray Myers. Hayne attended team trials yesterday, one day after entering prison for assaulting a Newcastle woman. And despite being a superstar in the NRL, the 33 year old failed to impress selectors at Parklea. “Silverwater prison have a very strong and tough team this season,” says Ray Myers. “We need players who…
Read MoreChristian Porter Applauds Jail Sentence Handed Down Against Jarryd Hayne
The federal Minister for Industry, Science and Technology has spoken out about the lengthy jail sentence handed to NRL player Jarryd Hayne. “I know I’m not the attorney-general anymore,” says Christian Porter. “However I still believe it’s appropriate for me to comment on legal matters.” “The sentence given to Jarryd Hayne is fair and appropriate. Matters of rape and sexual misconduct must be punishable by the full weight of the law. Do the crime, do the time.” Hayne was sentenced to five years and nine months in prison and will not be eligible for parole for three years and eight…
Read MorePM Announces Ban On All Travel From The Maldives, To Prevent Slater Coming Home
Former Australian cricketer Michael Slater has been left stranded overseas after Australia announced a ban on all travel from the Maldives, where Slater is currently located. “Banning travel from overseas is a tough, but important measure,” says Scott Morrison. “We need to do everything we can to keep Michael Slater out of Australia.” Slater – who has been working as a commentator in the Indian Premier League – escaped to the Maldives after Australia announced a Covid travel ban from India last week. The 51-year-old has been lashing out at Scott Morrison, saying the India ban is a “disgrace.” But…
Read More‘Cannabis Is A Gateway Drug To Ice Cream,’ Health Experts Warn
Cannabis’ reputation as a gateway drug has been confirmed, after a new report linked it to a dangerous consumption of ice cream. “A puff or two on a joint may seem innocent enough,” says health expert Natasha Walters. “But marijuana can trigger the abuse of more harmful substances, like ice cream and other deserts.” The report by the University of NSW comes after clinical trials showed those who smoked marijuana are 35 times more likely to eat ice cream. “I hadn’t had ice cream in years,” says one survey participant who smoked cannabis as part of the study. “I thought…
Read MoreOld Friends In Awkward Stand Off Over Fist Bump Or Regular Hand Shake
The lasting effects of the Covid-19 pandemic were felt on an awkward social level in Double Bay this morning. Old friends Pat Riley and David Fleming ran into each other while on their way to work. “We got in a bit of a tangle,” says Pat Riley. “I led with an open palm for a regular handshake, but he came in with a closed fist for a fist bump.” It’s understood both men swapped greeting techniques at exactly the same time, further exacerbating the tension. “You’d think after being friends for 13 years, we’d know how to say hello to…
Read MoreLocal Man Rejected For Job As Advertising Creative Because He’s Not A Hipster
A promising Sydney copywriter has been denied a role at a Surry Hills advertising agency for not having a beard. Gary Brullen says executives at the agency told him to consider re-applying at a later stage. “They liked my portfolio,” says Mr Brullen. “But they suggested I grow a beard, get some tattoos and also start wearing pants rolled up at the bottom so my ankles are showing.” The agency CEO refutes claims that appearance based discrimination is at play. “We hire people who help create a certain atmosphere within our agency. Unfortunately Gary did not fit that brief,” says…
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