Posts by DBT
POV: Moments after pulling out a bag at a North Bondi house party
LIFE OF THE PARTY: The mood at a North Bondi house party took a dramatic turn over the weekend after one of the guests took a bag out of his pocket. “First everyone looked at the bag,” says Rod Jamison. “Then within seconds they were all looking at me and also trying to be my best friend.” Until that point the party had reportedly been a laid back affair with guests politely sipping on drinks and snacks. The emergence of the bag immediately shifted the party’s dynamic, with a sudden surge in Rod Jamison’s popularity. “Everyone was looking at me,…
Read MoreLinkedIn introduces new ‘Calm down you tosser’ reaction button
REALISTIC REACTIONS: Social networking website LinkedIn is being praised for adding a new reaction button to give users a broader choice beyond ‘Like,’ ‘Comment’ or ‘Share.’ In an effort to address the growing number of self-congratulatory and boastful posts on its platform, LinkedIn has introduced a new ‘Calm down you tosser’ reaction button: It’s being hailed as a brave step towards maintaining sanity on the platform. “Our new ‘Calm down you tosser’ option is already proving a popular button since it was introduced yesterday,” says LinkedIn head of user experience Sam Polansky. “We’re giving people the option to start reacting more…
Read MoreDEAFENING SILENCE: Local man runs out of conversation three years into marriage: Report
ON MUTE: A flourishing & vibrant emotional connection between a Sydney man and his wife has reportedly come to a disappointing end after three years of marriage. “We used to talk so much. About our hopes, dreams, fears and funny stories,” says the wife Sabrina Ross. “We’d to stay up chatting all night.” “Nowadays he just keeps pretending that he needs to check his phone, but the harsh reality is that he has nothing left to say.” DBT reached out to her husband Michael Ross for an interview, but he chose to stay quiet on the matter, saying nothing except “no…
Read More#BREAKING: Local man using his wife’s $200 a bottle shampoo to wash his ball sack
HEAD & BOULDERS: The cost of living crisis has just become even more serious for one Sydney family. Last night Greg Noble liberally applied his wife’s $200 a bottle L’Oreal Kerastase hair elixir to wash his nether regions. “I’m not going to lie, my balls are feeling so soft and rejuvenated right now,” he told DBT. “But it was a costly mistake. “While in the shower, I thought it was my regular Palmolive 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner and body wash.” The discovery was made by Greg Noble’s wife who noticed his sweeter than normal smelling crown jewels. “She was spewing,” he…
Read MoreMan’s ‘throwback’ Insta post from Mykonos 2015, outperforming posts by his friends currently in Mykonos
WAY BACK WHEN: A local man has had a surprisingly warm reception to his ‘Throwback Thursday’ Instagram post. Seizing on the opportunity of today being Thursday, 35 year old Mark Taverner shared a photo of himself in Mykonos from eight years ago. “I’m really happy for all my friends currently in Mykonos,” he told DBT in a phone interview from his Bondi apartment. “I just thought it would be a good time to dig up the old photo of me in the same place they are all in now.” The photo – which shows Mark Taverner looking significantly thinner than…
Read MoreBoomers with no awareness block supermarket aisle while talking about the weather
GOOD CHAT: A generic conversation about Sydney’s warmer than normal winter has blocked aisle 6 at Woolworths, Lane Cove. The chit chat between two oblivious boomers has entered its 2nd minute, several shoppers gathered behind them, waiting for them to clear. “I was nervous about saying ‘excuse me,’” one shopper told DBT. “I was worried they’d get a shock about realising that there are other people in the supermarket.” “Get a move on!” one frustrated man eventually yelled. “Please don’t socialise here, or at least be aware of what is happening around you.” But it was to no avail. Neither of…
Read MoreSupermarket charging $15 for paper bags, announces crackdown on theft
PRICEY PAPER: Following the heavily criticised launch of its $15 ‘washable’ paper bags, supermarket giant Coles has announced new measures to combat shoplifting. “The ongoing cost of living crisis has led to an increase in theft,” says a Coles spokesperson. “So we’ve implemented a range of new measures, including plain-clothes loss prevention officers, CCTV and electronic surveillance.” It comes after both Coles and Woolworths announced net profits of $1.5 billion in the 12 months to April. In the same period food prices rose 9.6%. The new security announcement has left consumer advocates confused, who say it remains unclear who the…
Read MoreCAST AWAY: Aussie trust fund recipient stuck in Mykonos as airlines only have economy seats available
CAST AWAY: The fate of an Australian traveller on the idyllic Greek Island of Mykonos is hanging in limbo tonight. Tom Sedgeworth’s 14-day trip has turned into a nightmare, because he’s unable to purchase a first class seat home. “I’ve scoured every airline and flight booking website, and all I can find are seats in economy and business class,” he told DBT in an exclusive phone call interview. “It’s an absolute joke.” Instead of braving a non-first class flight, the 31 year old unemployed former private school student has extended his accomodation booking indefinitely. “I’ve only even travelled first class…
Read MoreMan uses marginally warmer weather as perfect excuse to parade topless around Bondi outdoor gym
SUN’S OUT, GUNS OUT: The winter sun shone brightly on Sydney for a few hours today and one man didn’t let it go to waste. Tom Harrow seized on the opportunity, using Bondi outdoor gym as his own personal runway, wearing nothing but lycra compression shorts. “I woke up at about 10.30am and I was at the gym 15 minutes later,” he told DBT. “You gotta give the people what they want, haha.” But the 31 year old fitness enthusiast was met with mixed reactions, and even a few hecklers. “Put your clothes back on you muppet,” shouted one man. “Calm…
Read More‘Business coach’ flaunts Lamborghini in LinkedIn profile pic, despite driving a Barina & still living with parents
FAKE IT TILL U MAKE IT: Former real estate agent, 29 year old Mark Minns has re-launched his LinkedIn profile, now featuring a $350,000 Lamborghini. According to his bio, the Randwick man is now a Business Coach | Mentor | Speaker who teaches others how to “fast-track their path to wealth and prosperity.” However questions are being raised about his own finances after it was revealed he shares a 2005 Holden Barina with his sister and still lives at home with his mum and dad. A DBT investigation has found he took the Lamborghini for a ‘test drive,’ specifically to…
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