Posts by DBT
A BRIDGE TOO FAR: Eastern suburbs man driving to the CBD chooses one wrong lane and ends up in North Sydney
WRONG WAY, GO BACK: A Bondi man has paid a heavy price for a navigation fail this afternoon. Dave Crane was heading for a doctor’s appointment in the city, but he tragically ended up in North Sydney. “I was just following my GPS, but it directed me into the wrong lane and then over the Harbour Bridge,” Dave Crane told DBT. The 32 year old was left bitterly disappointed. “It’s was possibly the most demoralising experience I’ve ever had,” he admitted to DBT. “And it’s the first time I’ve left the east in years.” As quick as he could, Dave…
Read MoreFriends long weekend away descends into power struggles, car pooling drama and fights about budgets & accommodation
JUST STAY HOME: It was meant to be a relaxing weekend away with friends at a Hunter Valley Airbnb, but it’s turned into a bitter standoff, with heated debates and serious doubts over the future of the friend group. The drama began before the trip even started, as the group of six struggled to agree on who would drive and how many cars would be needed. “The amount of politics involved was off the charts,” one friend quipped. Once on the road, tensions escalated over music choices, rest stops, and driving responsibilities. Upon arrival, the fighting continued as the group…
Read MoreLocal introvert keen for long weekend to finish so he doesn’t have to keep making up elaborate excuses to avoid social activity
LOCKDOWN: A Sydney introvert is counting down the hours until the end of the long weekend, eager to escape the exhausting task of fabricating fake excuses to avoid friends and family. “I wanted to spend the weekend at home by myself, but I’ve been inundated with messages from people trying to hang out,” Nigel Dunning told DBT. “Ever since Thursday Ive been under the pump.” The 29 year old data analyst says he’s already used up every excuse under the sun. “I’ve told people I’m sick, injured, have work to do or have errands to run,” he says. “I even…
Read More“My good friend Tom dropped me off here on his boat,” claims woman who actually got the ferry from Circular Quay
HELLO SAILOR: A Sydney woman is being called out for lying to friends about how she got to Double Bay. “My friend Tom is so nice to me, he just dropped me off his boat at the beach nearby,” claimed Fiona Murray as she arrived at Double Bay. “It’s so good to have friends with boats,” she says. But several witnesses say they saw the 27 year old arrive today on the 1.30pm Sydney Ferry service from Manly, via Circular Quay. DBT has reached out to interview Ms Murray, but she’s yet to respond. Her instagram shows a photo of…
Read MoreFather who regularly pays $350 for a bag, refusing to pay $22 for an Easter showbag
CHARLES IN CHARGE: A Sydney father who regularly spends a quarter of his weekly salary on eight balls, says showbags are way too expensive. Today Josh Laird refused to buy his young son Henry a $22 showbag at this year’s Royal Easter show. “Those bags are a huge waste of money,” he told his son before attempting to leave the event. “Plus, you’re massively addicted to sugar.” But the son reportedly put up a fight, saying he refused to leave until his father purchased the Cadbury showbag for him. “C’mon son, show some restraint will you,” replied the father. “There…
Read MoreDouble Bay fboy embracing online sexual health testing, to avoid cringe worthy doctor appointments
OPEN FOR BUSINESS: In a move that has shocked absolutely no one, a Double Bay fboy and run club enthusiast has found a way to bypass embarrassing doctors appointments by doing his sexual health testing online. “It’s an absolute game changer,” Jack Pascoe told DBT. “I take my Stigma Health online referral to a pathology collection centre and get tested, and then my confidential test results are sent straight to my phone.” “No awkward chat about sexually transmitted infections with my GP while he’s checking out my junk!” Jack Pascoe has long been known for his carefree attitude towards dating…
Read More“I’m honoured & humbled,” writes man on LinkedIn after appointing himself CEO of start-up he founded last week
HUMBLE BRAG: A local entrepreneur, thought leader and mentor has spent his Tuesday afternoon writing a 300 word LinkedIn post about how ‘humbled’ he is to get a new job. Mark Paluka has just announced himself as CEO of an ‘innovation hub’ he founded last week. “This honour has left me speechless,” he wrote. The new company which currently has a total staff count of one (including the CEO), has yet to secure any funding or produce any kind of business plan. “From the moment I conceptualised this company last weekend, to my appointment as CEO today, it’s been an…
Read MoreINSTANT ICK: Eastern suburbs woman forced to flee Hinge date after he showed up on a share bike
GHOSTED: A Bellevue Hill has told of the shocking moment her Hinge date arrived on a clunky green Lime bike, prompting her to make a swift exit. “He didn’t even see me I don’t think,” Sally Gibbons told DBT. “I was out of there so quickly.” The pair were set to have a coffee date at a Paddington cafe after matching on the app. But when she saw him arrive on the share bike, complete with helmet and green bicycle basket, she says she got the “instant ick.” “I get that share bikes are good for the environment, and he seemed…
Read MoreRegulators force ‘I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here’ to be renamed; ‘Get Me Out Of Here’
HARSH REALITY: Television regulators have forced the long-running reality show ‘I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here’ to change its name. After the premier episode of the 2024 season aired last night, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission has demanded the word ‘Celebrity’ be removed from the show’s title. “We find using the word ‘celebrity’ amounts to misleading and deceptive conduct,” says the ACCC’s Megan Tilly. “Apart from Frankie Muniz, basically all of the contestants are little known influencers or recycled reality TV contestants.” “In fact, none of them have any idea who anyone else on the show is,…
Read MoreThe Golden Sheaf introduce mandatory dress code for males: white sneakers, beige chinos and a white linen shirt
CARBON COPY: In a bold move to ensure fashion consistency among its male patrons, a popular Double Bay pub is implementing a mandatory dress code: white sneakers, beige chinos, and a white linen shirt. “We want to maintain The Golden Sheaf’s reputation as a fashionable and sophisticated venue,” says The Sheaf management. “This is not just a dress code, it’s a community.” From the start of April, male patrons will not be allowed into the venue unless they are wearing the specific uniform set out on the Sheaf’s website. “Let’s face it, that’s all most people wear these days anyway,”…
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