Posts by DBT
Corporate drone attempts to show he has a personality by wearing Santa hat at work
JOY TO THE WORLD: A shy office worker is showing his playful side today in a desperate bid to prove that he’s much more than just a lifeless accountant. “Sometimes you gotta live a little,” says Joel Tyler. “I’m getting into the Christmas spirit. I don’t care if it’s only December 15!” The 32 year old is generally known by colleagues as being “distant and introverted.” But not today. Joel Tyler has begun wearing a Santa hat while at work. “Wow, I’m impressed,” says Jane from the legal department. “Joel is actually a lot more quirky and original than we…
Read MoreNews.com.au journalist sets new year’s resolution to report some real news, instead of his constant misleading clickbait
NEW HORIZONS: A news.com.au reporter is attempting to take the next brave step in his career. As a new year beckons, Harry Hackman has set a resolution to report some actual news, a huge departure from his standard sensational clickbait stories about pop culture, viral videos and reality TV. “My main job at news.com.au is to write articles about whatever Karl Stefanovic and Waleed Aly happen to say on TV,” Hackman told DBT. “I also write a lot about what Abbie Chatfield says on her podcast.” Harry Hackman has mastered the art of writing misleading headlines that in no way reflect…
Read MoreEastern suburbs socialite at son’s 21st birthday posts more photos of herself, than of her son
IT GIRL: A Sydney woman is being accused of hijacking her son’s 21st birthday party on the weekend, by relentlessly posting photos of herself. Dressed in designer clothes, Valerie McDonald-Henry posted 14 videos of herself across her social media, compared to only 3 images of her son. “To be honest, she was lucky she was even invited,” the son told DBT. “So yeah it was a bit sad that she tried stealing the spotlight.” In one image posted to Ms Mcdonald-Henry’s Instagram, her son could be seen in the background and completely out of focus. “Happy 21st darling, tonight is…
Read MoreLocal woman begins ‘Wholesome Byron Bay girl era’ after partying hard in Sydney for the last 6 weeks straight
STUNNING TRANSFORMATION: It’s been a busy summer so far for Sydney PR queen Chloe Montgomery-Masters. The 31 year old has been overwhelmed by Christmas parties, PR activations and drug-fuelled benders. But after arriving in Byron Bay yesterday for a 10 day holiday, she’s transformed from Sydney socialite to Byron Bay bohemian. “I went straight to the lighthouse and posted a selfie with the caption ‘My wholesome Byron Bay girl era has begun.’ “Now it’s time to centre my soul and get back to nature,” she told DBT. “Tomorrow I’m going to get up early and do a sunrise yoga session…
Read More#BREAKING: Boomer on the loose, trying to make small talk with strangers about the hot weather
GOOD CHAT: Sydney-siders are being advised to avoid an elderly woman who is walking around trying to engage strangers in conversation about the heat. “The woman is described as friendly, with greying hair and probably around 65 years old,” says Inspector Lyle Cummings from NSW Police. Witnesses say she’s approaching people and saying, ‘hot enough for you today,’ and then laughing slightly. “Yes, it’s hot, everyone knows that!” one man was heard replying to her. “We don’t need to talk about it every 10 seconds.” Police say the woman may be lonely or bored, and was last seen in the…
Read MoreWestfield Bondi Junction now charging $20 entry fee, as shoppers queue for the air conditioning
AIR CON: Shoppers going to Westfield at Bondi Junction to escape today’s scorching heat are in for a surprise. “In a bid to keep the centre from overcrowding, we’ve introduced a $20 entry fee,” says a statement from Westfield Bondi Junction. “At this stage the fee applies for today only, but we’ll see.” It comes as thousands of shoppers head indoors to escape the 40 degree temperature outside, the hottest day in years. The unprecedented entry fee is getting a mixed reaction from shoppers. “It’s a small price to pay to shop in comfort,” says one local shopaholic. Others say…
Read MoreVaucluse fashionista buys bigger house, purely to avoid having to declutter her wardrobe
WARDROBE HACK: A Sydney woman has forked out $43 million on a Vaucluse mansion, instead of sorting through her wardrobe and throwing out or recycling her old clothes. “My family and I just keep moving into bigger houses every time I run out of wardrobe space,” Shelley Burton-Barley admitted DBT. “It’s just so much quicker than sorting out and parting ways with my old clothes, shoes and accessories. After all, time is money.” Her new home boasts breathtaking harbour views, and 12 bedrooms, with walk-in wardrobes in three of them. “We’ll be using eight of the bedrooms exclusively to store…
Read MoreWork friends become real friends after doing a line together at their office Christmas party
POWER CHAT: Two corporate drones at a large accounting firm snuck away for a cheeky line at their work Christmas party last night, and their friendship has now entered a new phase. Jye Marwah and James Smith were seen hugging and posing for photos shortly after emerging from the bathroom at the same time. “We had a power chat about who we like, and who we don’t like, around the office,” Jye Marwah told DBT. “It was high quality banter and it’s really brought us closer together.” While queuing up for a drink, Mr Marwah then got out his phone…
Read MoreBurned out executive takes sick day so he can stay home and catch up on work
UNDER THE PUMP: The end of the year is fast approaching, but local man Paul Barbosa still has so much work to do. “The only way I get anything done these days is when I’m working remotely from home,” he told DBT. “Otherwise I just get bogged down with generic chit chat with colleagues and pushy requests to do other people’s work for them.” The overworked financial services professional has already had his one day of remote work this week, so today he’s taken a sick day to stay home and finish an urgent report. The eyebrow-raising move has again…
Read MoreSydney man now basing his friend choices entirely on who has a boat
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: A local man is staging a dramatic overhaul of his friend groups in a desperate bid to increase the amount of time he spends on boats. David Hensley always dreamed of being a boat owner, but he’s been forced to settle for the next best thing: friends who are boat owners. “The cost of living crisis is taking a toll,” admits the Rose Bay man. “But summer is here so why settle for the beach when you can have a day at sea?” The 31 year old has begun only spending time with people he’d normally avoid.…
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