“I think you might need a size up” set to be banned under Australia’s new hate speech laws

FASHION FAUX PAS: Retail workers across Australia will soon be prohibited from suggesting customers try a larger size, under sweeping new hate speech legislation.

“Body-shaming language can be traumatic and divisive and that’s why we are intent on stamping it out,” the Prime Minister told reporters today.

Major retailers are scrambling to implement new training protocols, with Myer introducing an “alternative sizing conversation framework” for staff.

“Approved phrases include ‘let’s explore different fit options,’ or “let’s consider our range of styles.”

Anthony Albanese is defending the laws, calling them “common sense protections for everyday Australians.”

The legislation is expected to pass with bipartisan support, after several MPs admitted they had “experienced the phrase personally.”