Australian media still severely overestimating how much people care about who hosts the Today show

OLD MEDIA: Australia’s major news outlets have entered their third straight week of assuming the public is emotionally invested in who hosts the Today show.

Editors around the country have agreed wars, economic turmoil and international diplomacy are “unlikely to generate as many clicks”.

“We looked at inflation and the housing situation, and honestly, none of it compares to the urgency of this,” said one editor.

Journalists hired to cover politics, courts and health have been reassigned to monitor rumour threads and interpret the body language of former Sunrise employees at cafes.

A leaked Daily Telegraph internal memo reportedly instructed staff to treat any sighting of a TV personality “within 200 metres of Channel Nine” as breaking news.

The public has been advised that normal news coverage will resume once a hosting decision is made, or civilisation ends, whichever comes first.